Sex Therapy Ch. 01

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***Hey all,

I felt like writing something that was just smut, and here it is. Let me know if you like it and want more chapters.

Heads up, this chapter contains: gay male content, mild mind control.

Penny***

The olive-skinned man sitting across from Lucas Collins wore a crisp, well tailored suit, impossibly wrinkle free, even with his legs crossed. He clicked his pen repetitively, constantly pulling Lucas’s attention back to the expensive looking writing utensil. The suit was grey, almost black, but not quite, and the pen was driving him crazy, especially since the man hadn’t said anything to him since welcoming him in, other than to take a seat. He looked over his clipboard, then up, his steel colored eyes measuring him up before returning to the clipboard.

Lucas was skeptical, the information on the clipboard couldn’t possibly have been his information, he’d given it to the girl at reception, she’d been still copying it when he’d been called back.

The man looked up at him again, those steely eyes making him uncomfortable. He fought to keep from squirming in his chair, then looked down, unable to hold his gaze.

“Hmm.” The man hummed. Lucas looked up, nervous to catch the man’s eyes again, but he couldn’t stop himself. The man was looking at something behind him. He turned around, but there was nothing there, just the closed door, a clock, and a mostly empty bookshelf. He turned back around to find the man had stood up, though he hadn’t heard it. He walked around Lucas’s chair, trailing a finger over his bare arm. Lucas pulled back and held it to his chest.

He watched as the man took a small cone out of a box on the bookshelf, then placed it on a small dish he’d overlooked. Lucas didn’t see a lighter, but the incense cone was already smoking, and the man returned to his chair. A moment later he smelled it, a woodsy, deep scent that reminded him of something familiar, but he couldn’t put his finger on what.

The pen clicks, the tip emerges. The pen clicks, the tip disappears. He counts forty six clicks before the man looks at him again. He’d stopped counting for a second, ready to finally begin his appointment, but the clicking starts again, even with the man’s steel eyes on him. He shifts uncomfortably, looking at anything but the man across from him.

Seventeen more clicks from when he started counting again before the man clears his throat. “So… Mr. Collins. May I call you Luca?”

Lucas tilts his head to the side, lips pursed, his annoyance sidestepping his manners. “No, you may not.”

“No? Oh well. I knew a Lucas before, bit of a twat, if you will pardon my language.”

“Excuse me?” Lucas snaps, caught flat footed by the lack of professionalism. “Dr. Ifson, aren’t you supposed to keep that stuff secret? Like the hippocratic oath, right?”

“I suppose that would be unprofessional of me, if I were a doctor.”

“You’re not a doctor?” Lucas snaps.

Dr. Ifson, no, not doctor, whatever the man across from his was, he smiles. This smile feels genuine, and it quickly cools his temper, though he doesn’t know why. “I never claimed to be a doctor, did I?”

“I assumed-“

“Well, there lies your problem,” Mr. Ifson replies. “You can call me by my first name, if you prefer.”

“That seems very unprofessional, Mr. Ifson.” Lucas was trying hard to hold onto his anger, but it kept slipping away like a beach ball in the ocean surf, a little farther with each wave. The smell of the incense had quickly filled the room, and it somehow made him feel softer around the edges.

“Ral. Call me Ral, please. Or just Ifson. I cannot stand formalities like ‘doctor’ or ‘mister’. Creates a division between folk, creates unnecessary boundaries. Anyway, Lucas,” (the way he says Lucas’s name makes his flesh break out in goose pimples), “you are here because… hmm…” Ral clicks the pen again a few times before he continues. “Impotence, correct?”

Lucas flinches, even just hearing the word makes him upset. “Yes.” He coughs to cover his embarrassment.

“Nothing to be ashamed of, Lucas.” He looks at the clipboard again, then writes something down. Deep steely eyes catch Lucas’s and he’s trapped. “Let us see… Smoker?”

“No.”

He nods, jots something down. “Alcohol?”

“A beer here or there. Drinks with friends occasionally. No more than two, three times a week.”

He nods again, clicks his pen, but doesn’t write anything down. Lucas’s toes tap the floor in time to the pen clicking. When he realizes it he stops, then pushes his feet flat to the ground with his hands on his knees. “Do you take medication?”

“Yes. Why are you asking me all of this? I already filled it out on the form I gave to your receptionist.”

“Hmm?” he hums, looking up from his clipboard. “There is no receptionist who works for me.”

“Yes, that woman out there, behind the desk. With the glasses and the french braids? She had me fill out a form and told me to take a seat.”

Ral shrugs. “She does not work for me.”

“Fine, for your practice then, istanbul travesti whatever.”

“You misunderstand. There is no practice. This is research, so to speak, and I do not have staff.”

“Are you trying to tell me the woman behind the desk outside of this room doesn’t work for you?”

“Exactly,” Ral says, nodding with a smile that makes Lucas’s heart skip a beat. He ignores it.

“No, no, no. There’s a woman outside this room behind a desk, correct?”

Ral nods. “Correct. She is not on my payroll, to be clear.”

“Then what is she doing taking down my information?!”

Ral shrugs. “She does filing, people shuffling, that sort of thing.”

“So she works for you!”

Ral shakes his head and Lucas is nearly ready to leave, would’ve left already, but his anger floats away on scented air as soon as it sparks. He should leave, the incense is making him feel weird, and this whole setup feels fishy, but he can’t seem to muster the energy to leave. He’s too curious, and a bit desperate, so he stays seated.

Ral smiles and clicks his pen a few more times, each one digging claws under his skin. Goosebumps ripple Lucas’s arms again and he rubs them, sure he can still feel where Ral touched him. “I suppose she volunteers, if you must label it anything. I do not pay her, and I have never asked her for her services.”

Lucas decides to drop that particular line of conversation. “Fine. Whatever.”

“As for the form you filled out, I do not have it. And, even if I did, I would ask these questions again.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Ral says, looking Lucas straight in the eyes. He shifts uncomfortably in his plush armchair across from the man, but he can’t seem to look away. “People lie all the time, especially on their forms.”

Lucas rolls his eyes, smirks. “I could lie to you now.”

“You could try,” Ral says, looking amused. “But you would fail.”

“This is ridiculous,” Lucas snaps. “I’m leaving. I don’t even know why I thought this was a good idea.” He goes to stand up, but he doesn’t, and he doesn’t know why. He does, actually, he isn’t ready to leave. He wants to know…

“You came because no one else could help you with your impotence. You came because you know I can.” Lucas has nothing to say to that, so he remains seated and crosses his arms over his chest, feeling indignant. Ral nods, then continues. “Very well. Do you take illicit drugs, Lucas?”

“No.”

“No never, or no, but sometimes?”

“No, never,” he snaps, embarrassed by his self-perceived lack of experience.

“Not a risk taker.” Ral nods, then scribbles something down. “Are you on any medications?”

“Yes. Um, duloxitine, twice daily.” He’s always a little embarrassed to admit he takes medication, hates how it makes him feel like less of a man, but the alternative is worse.

Ral’s lips purse to the side as he scribbles on his clipboard. “For anxiety?” Lucas nods. “Stop taking them, those pills are a part of the problem.”

“Stop? I’m not just gonna stop, like, I’ve been on duloxitine since, like, for longer than my, um, current condition. I’ve been taking it for five years, but, my, um, condition, has only been a problem for about seven months.” His face is hot, and he’s studying the patterning on the rug on the floor between their chairs.

“You need to stop taking it if you want my help. It numbs your nervous system over time. Also, it will interfere with my methods, so stop taking it, or you should probably leave now. But,” Ral pauses and waits until Lucas looks at him again, “if you leave, I can promise you that you will find no solution to your impotence.”

Lucas frowns, but stays seated. “I’ve been to two doctors and two different specialists so far, what makes you think you’re so much better?”

Ral snorts a laugh. “You came to me, Lucas. Why did you come see me?”

Lucas pauses, his uncertainties swirling. “Nothing helped, and I dunno. I was, god, it’s stupid. My long-term girlfriend broke up with me, we’d been trying for a baby, well, she wanted a baby.”

“You did not wish to reproduce?” Ral interjects his question, one eyebrow raised in curiosity.

“Um. Not really. I mean, I loved her, and she wanted a baby, so, um. You know how it goes. But, we tried for over a year and nothing. She made me get tested, then, um, well, we found out the problem was with my swimmers, I guess. Actually, the results were inconclusive, according to the doctor, but she blamed me. After that she grew distant, then she was pregnant, but not with my kid, she made sure to tell me that. I can’t blame her for being bitter, I suppose, but after that, I couldn’t, um. I can’t, um. You know. Finish. Since she left. No matter what I tried.”

“You still can achieve an erection?”

Lucas bit his bottom lip before he answered. “Yes, that’s not a problem, but I have the bluest balls, like, all the time.”

“So, how did you come to find me?”

“Hmm? Oh, I was drunk, walking home from the bar, and I saw a flyer for you. It’s probably stupid, but istanbul travestileri at the time all I could think about was that what you specialized in sounded exactly like what was wrong with me. So, I went online and made an appointment.” He’s not sure why he’s being so open, why the words flow from him like water for Ral. He’d never told the whole story to anyone before now.

Ral smiled over his clipboard. “That is something Roxi is good at,” he says, nodding towards the closed door to where the woman with glasses and french braids sat outside. “The internet portion. It is beyond my use, my skill lies elsewhere.”

“I feel ridiculous,” Lucas says, looking over his shoulder at the door. He should leave, just get up and walk out of here and look for another specialist.

“Okay. So, you will stop taking duloxitine immediately.”

“I can’t.”

“You can. It is no longer helping you in a way you need.”

Lucas opens his mouth to answer, then shuts it again. Ral was right, since his impotence began he’d become even more anxious and withdrawn. By this point he was barely treading above the void of his depression. He could feel it was close to drawing him down. “Fine.” He wouldn’t admit it, but he was desperate, and he could tell Ral knew it, too.

Ral nods, then makes another note. “Very good. You are a bit stubborn, but that I can work with. Sexual orientation?”

“Um, straight?”

Ral nods. “How boring. Kinks?”

“I don’t see how that is relevant.”

“You do not see how having an interest in a variety of sexual proclivities would be relevant to your impotence?”

Now he felt stupid. “Fine. None.”

“I doubt that,” Ral replies, taking notes. “Moving on. When was the last time you had sex?”

“Eight months ago.” He didn’t even have to think about it anymore, he’d been telling that part of the story to doctors for months now. “My ex-girlfriend.”

“Did you finish?”

“The last time I had sex?” Ral nods and Lucas gags on the answer. “No.”

“When’s the last time you were erect and ejaculated?”

He opened his mouth to answer, but he didn’t actually have an easy answer for this one. “I don’t know,” he eventually admits.

Ral nods. “But you get hard?”

“All the time. I feel like I get hard more often that I used to, too, just to rub salt in the wounds. Like, I just can’t, um, get across the finish line? But, hard all the time, and lately it aches, like, I know if I could just come it would relieve the pressure, but I can’t, no matter what I do, or, like, I bought a fake pussy toy from the adult toy store, but even that, it feels good, but I can’t finish. What’s wrong with me?”

“A few things, from my estimations. I believe I have a solution, though. A few more questions, first. Have you ever touched a penis other than your own?”

“Um, no?”

“Never? Have you ever thought about touching another man’s penis?”

Lucas gags on the answer. “No.”

Ral smiles, catching him. “Liar. Moving on.” He doesn’t give Lucas a chance to interject. “Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection?”

“No.”

“Ever sired a child?”

Lucas shook his head. “What? Sired? No…” Ral fixes him with a flat stare. “I mean, I already told you that we couldn’t, um, that I wasn’t fertile.”

“I doubt that, I believe you just haven’t… Well, we will get there. Ever worn the clothing of the opposite gender?”

Lucas hesitates only for a second, but Ral sees it. “No.”

“Hmm…” Ral says thoughtfully. “Ever had your prostate massaged?”

“God no.” Ral clicks his pen a few more times, then sets his clipboard down, the pen on top of it. Lucas catches a glimpse of it and his temper rises. “You weren’t even taking notes?!” he demands, pointing to the scribble-covered paper on the clipboard.

Ral gives him a flat stare that shuts him down. “If you want my help, you need to listen and do as I say, do you understand?”

Lucas wants to leave, but he wants to fix his problem more, and something about Ral, he really does believe he might be able to help him. A nagging voice in the back of his head wonders if he should trust Ral, but he suppresses it with months of built up frustration. “Yes.”

“Good boy,” Ral praises, and it sends a ripple of pleasure down his spine. He suppresses that, too. “Stop taking your anxiety medication. I will give you some pills and tea, you will take the first of these before you leave the office today, then you will take one pill three times a day, and you should drink a cup of tea at least once per day, but no more than three cups per day. Do you understand?”

Lucas nods. “Stop taking my pills, and take your pills?”

“They are, well, they will prepare your body for our next steps in correcting your specific issues.”

“And the tea?”

“Detox. Special recipe. Do you have any allergies?”

Lucas shakes his head. “Not that I know of.”

“Very good. Stay here,” Ral directs, then stands up and walks by Lucas again towards the door. He runs a fingernail up travesti istanbul his arm again as he passes, and Lucas notices that he has longer than normal nails, painted black. He wasn’t sure how he’d missed that detail before now.

A minute passes and Lucas edges closer to the table between them, then peeks at the clipboard. There are symbols all over it, he can’t make any sense of it, but it doesn’t look like just doodles. It looks like hieroglyphics, but it also didn’t look like anything he recognized.

Ral returns and catches him looking. He jumps back and tries to be coy, but they both know what he was up to. Ral hands him a steaming cup of tea, then holds out his other hand, waiting for Lucas to put his hand out. He drops a white gel-cap pill into Lucas’s hand, then returns to his chair.

“Take the pill, drink the tea,” Ral says. The pill is in his mouth before he realizes it and then it’s too late, so he sips, then swallows down a swig of tea to wash the pill down. The tea smells weird, but the taste is pleasant, something sour, something floral, something a little spicy. “Good boy,” Ral praises, and again, it sends a ripple of pleasure down his spine.

“So, I just, what? Take the pills and drink the tea?”

“And you shall come visit me again in a week, where we will begin therapy to help you return your fecundity. Until you have cleared the other medication from your system, I can do nothing for you. Do you understand?”

“Yeah. Okay.” He nods, it all made perfect sense. “Sure.”

“Roxi will get the medicine and tea for you. Does this same time work for you next week?”

“Um, yeah,” Lucas responds. He’s feeling light, relaxed, like everything might just be okay.

He doesn’t remember much after his appointment, everything is blurry, but somehow he makes it home. A second cup of tea before bed with his second pill, and he sleeps like a baby for the first time in a long time.

The next morning his dick feels harder than it ever has before, painful. It’s almost purple, and the ache that accompanies his erection stems from deep inside him and radiates to his tip. Even gently touching it makes his whole body quake, so he avoids it, worried, but also not that worried. He drinks his tea and takes his pill and the pain recedes a bit, but his erection does not go away.

He should be worried about it, but he’s not. He adjusts himself, wears baggier pants, then goes to work. It’s hard to hide his erection, so he avoids interacting with his coworkers, burying himself in busywork at his computer. It’s actually not that much different than any other day, his coworkers have all accepted him as a loner introvert.

The ache returns around lunchtime, it almost feels like he’s been kicked in the balls, but, like ten minutes after being kicked after the sharp pain gone, and the long, stomach ache feeling remains, lingering. He makes his tea and takes his pill and the pain goes away, and so does his erection.

He finishes his day, picks up dinner, and returns home. Takes another pill, watches TV. He catches himself before bed, he’d almost taken one of his old pills by accident. Instead he flushes the rest of them down the toilet, the thought of accidentally taking them somehow incredibly upsetting.

He sleeps hard again. So hard he misses his alarm, is late to work. He realizes into his first break that he’s missed his first pill, then remembers they are in his bag. He doesn’t have the tea with him today, though. He takes the pill with water and a granola bar and goes back to work.

Jack pokes his head into Lucas’s cubicle around lunch. Lucas looks up, surprised. “Hey, a bunch of us are going out for lunch with Ellen today, she’s treating us for meeting our goals last month. You coming?”

Jake smelled delicious, but not in a food way. He smelled… Lucas couldn’t figure it out. The ache returns to his loins, and blood following behind it. He shifts uncomfortably in his chair, he has to stop from touching himself. “No, um. I packed.”

Jack nods. “I figured, but I wanted to ask. You seem more like the kind of person to like a more, ah, intimate outing.” Lucas flushes at his word choice, feeling confused and conflicted.

“Yeah, um.”

Jack smiles at him, sending the last bit of blood in his brain to his sore loins. “Well, maybe you and I could go out sometime, just the two of us?”

“I’d like that,” he replies. The smile Jack shoots at him sends a bolt of pleasure up his spine, reminding him for a second of Ral.

“Me too,” Jack agrees, looking down Lucas’s body. He grabs his hand away quickly, but the damage was done, he’d been stroking himself over his pants and Jack saw it. His face is on fire, and he’s gripping the arms of his chair to keep himself from giving in to the nearly overwhelming need to touch himself.

Jack doesn’t leave and after a few uncomfortable seconds he looks up to find a hungry look on Jack’s face, his eyes still locked on Lucas’s bulge. “Um…”

Jack shakes his head, then smiles at Lucas. “I should get going. Don’t forget, you promised to go out soon.”

He didn’t promise anything, but Jack leaves and he doesn’t get a chance to correct him. The office is quiet over lunch, he’s the only one left, and he catches himself stroking his bulge several times, enough that he goes to the bathroom to try to jerk off.

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