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It had been twenty-five years since I last saw her face. All that I had in-between then and now, were the old photographs in a worn out photo album. Some were faded, some cracking, but most of them showed a beautiful smiling face staring back at me. Each one frozen in a time I don’t remember. I was ten when my mother took a shotgun and blew my father away. I was there, and watched as the fiery blast erupted from the barrel and sent his broken body flying back against the wall. The impact of which broke the plaster shell and the thin boards beneath it. He landed, as if in slow motion face down on the carpet. I was screaming I remember. I don’t know what I was screaming, but she turned to me and ran over as she tossed the shotgun down. She held me until the police arrived and took her away.
I saw her once after that. In court when they read the verdict. Guilty of Voluntary manslaughter. Fifteen to life with a chance of parole. She served twenty-five as a result of a riot she got caught up in five years into her stretch, and as a result, had years tacked onto her sentence.
When I was eighteen, I tried to go and see her, but she didn’t want to see me. So instead. I moved away. Got married at twenty-five, and divorced at thirty. I kicked around for a few years before I decided enough was enough, and moved back home. Not to the same house of course. I had that torn down, and a new house built.
As I stood outside in the prison parking lot, I couldn’t help but look at one of the old photos of her and I. I was young, bucktoothed and happy. She was a model back then, and gorgeous. Judging by the photograph, she had quite the body on her, but that kind of goes along with being a model I guess. It was a vacation photo of the two of us on Tybee Island in Georgia. It is one of the few memories that I can remember. We swam and played most of the day, and then went for burgers in the evening. It was a great time then. I don’t know why I remember it though. Those two things didn’t relate in my opinion. The brutal murder of my father, and the loving vacation with my mother. The bad and the good. Sadness and happiness.
Yin and Yang? Fuck, I don’t know. All I knew, was that she was getting out in mere moments, and despite what happened, I wanted to be there for her when she took her first breath of freedom. I loved my mother, more than anything. I had long since forgiven her. I knew why she did it. She was guilty. There was never any claim otherwise. She raised that shotgun at him with every intent to stop him, and she pulled the trigger.
She did it for me. My father was an asshole, and I am glad that he is gone, but he was still my father. He kicked the shit out of me on more than a few occasions when he was drunk. When my mother tried to stop him, he kicked the shit out of her too. This happened one too many times, and she took it upon herself to fight back. The shotgun was in his hands prior. He had been threatening us with it. Huddled in a corner together, and waiting to die, we begged him to put it down. At some point he did, and foolish me, I went for it. My father, being quicker than me, smacked me to the ground with a snap reflex, and as I got up to run, he came after me.
My mother, seeing the shotgun, grabbed it and raised it up. She called to him. I watched as he laughed and charged after her. He didn’t think that she would do it, but she did. She pulled that trigger sure as shit. At close range too. Blood went everywhere. He was all but cut in half. Gruesome. Maybe that is why it stuck with me all these years. Not the morbidity of it, but the fact that that motherfucker was done that day, and we were free. Well, I was. Mother got fifteen years for it.
To us, it was self-defense. To the courts, she had a chance to run and seek help. To the jury, well, fuck them. She was being released soon. It didn’t matter now. She served her time, and then some.
My mother had been granted parole a few months ago. After all the legalities, paperwork, reviews and all the other bullshit, she was getting released today.
I hadn’t seen her since that day in court. At first, I wasn’t allowed to see her. Then, when I could, like I said, she didn’t want to, and I moved away to avoid it all. I needed to. I had to. Everything reminded me of that day. It sure as hell didn’t help my marriage. Thank god that I never had kids. I was a mess. Every night for years I saw that bastard flying back in my dreams. Blood. Guts. The screaming of my younger self. The crying of my mother and the anger on her face that turned to horror as she watched what happened once she pulled that trigger.
The problem was easy to correct though. I had to forgive her, and it took some time to do that, but I did. I saw shrinks and took medications. I talked to people in similar situations. I explained everything to anyone who would listen, and they all said the same thing. Forgive her. I knew that I should. I knew that I had to. I knew he left her no options once she grabbed that shotgun. If she hadn’t had pulled the trigger, görükle escort he would have. BOOM! Two dads made from one in a single blast. Both halves were assholes. I guessed that she didn’t want me to see her in there. She had asked that I stay way. I had promised her that I would, but that I would call her often, and we wrote and kept in touch via emails when she could get time on a computer. I fell in love with her all over again. I had gotten my mother back, and she got her son back. Not that we ever really lost each other, but you know, we both had to get passed that darkness in our own ways.
I turned when I heard my name. “Ryan?” a soft voice asked. I looked up towards the doors leading from the central office area to see her standing there. She looked beautiful still. She was twenty-four when she went in. Now, at forty-nine, she still looked amazing. Her once luxurious blonde hair was dull of course. A few wrinkles here and there, and her curves were a bit curvier, but damn, not even prison could dampen the beauty I still saw from those old photographs.
She cried, breaking down in tears as we embraced for the first time. I picked her up as she held onto me. Her legs wrapped around me like a baby koala to his mom. We hugged firmly, not wanting to let go. I could feel her tears soaking my shirt, and I am sure she could feel mine doing the same. She leaned back after a bit, and smiled before giving me a face full of kisses. One even landed on my lips. I laughed and she laughed. It felt so good to finally hold her again.
She didn’t have much with her. A few pamphlet books, and some paperwork. Nothing really to hold on to in prison. What she had, she had given away to her friends. Anything else, she tossed in the trash. Mom stepped back to look at me. I was ten the last time that she saw me. I am thirty-five now. I have long light brown hair, a clean-shaven face and I am now six foot four, much taller and more broad shouldered than that little wiry bucktoothed kid that I used to be. Mom was dressed in a simple white T-shirt and denim pants purchased inside for release.
“Ryan, you look so handsome…I can’t believe how big you have gotten.”
“Well, you always reminded me to eat my spinach.” I laughed.
“Did you?”
“No.” I laughed. She laughed.
We chatted for a bit before we left. She wanted to get away from the prison as soon as possible, and so did I. We drove for an hour before both of us got hungry, and we stopped for something to eat. Mom was nervous though as we sat at our table and ate. She kept looking around or at people as they walked by.
“Mom? What’s the matter?”
“I feel…I feel like they know…you know…” She said, and pulled at her prison shirt.
“Ah, I see, well, they told me that is to be expected, but don’t worry, no one is looking at you for any other reason other than you’re just gorgeous.”
She looked at me and smiled. Her face turned a light red as she blushed. “Thank you, Baby. I really needed to hear that from you. Not that I agree with you, but that you think so.”
I tossed a french fry at her. “You are still the prettiest woman in the world to me, remember that.”
She smiled again, then tossed the fry back. We both laughed, and then she reached over and took my hand.
“I have to ask though, when I asked that you not come to see me…”
“You didn’t want me to see you in prison. I hated it, but I understood, really, I did, but it still hurt not to be able to see you.”
Her eyes closed as it feeling a pain inducing memory. When she opened her eyes, she shook her head gently. “No, Baby, when you were going to come and visit me that day, Gramma was going to bring you, but I had been attacked and beaten so badly that you would not have recognized me. I had facial swelling, bruises all over my face and body, three broken ribs, and I couldn’t see out of my left eye. That is why I didn’t want you to come see me. I never knew from one day to the next if it were going to happen again, and I couldn’t let you see me like that.”
“Jesus, Mom…why?”
“I apparently pissed off some inmates for talking to another who had been labeled a rat, and when I spoke up to defend why I spoke to this lady, they jumped me later in the shower. Had it not been for the guards coming in, it could have been worse, but I got the message loud and clear.”
“Fuck, Mom…what happened afterward? Did they get disciplined, or more time added?”
Mom kind of chuckled. “No, I said nothing to no one… I fell down some stairs, that was my excuse, and they had no choice but to accept that answer. Snitches get stitches as they say, and yeah, it’s true. But yeah, I got the message, and because I didn’t rat them out, I was left alone. They had done what they set out to do.”
“I am so sorry that you had to go through that, Mom. I wish things had been different.”
“What was done, was done, Ryan. Remember that.”
After we ate, we hit a local shop, and I bought her some better clothes and some bursa eskort toiletries for when we stopped for the night. With a new sun dress and underclothes, slip on shoes and some makeup, she was set. She did her hair up while we drove and applied a little makeup to make herself feel better. We talked and laughed, and we held each other’s hands for the longest time. After several hours, with still a half a day of travel ahead of us, I pulled into a motel and got us a room.
I let mom take the first shower, and I could hear the enjoyment in her voice as the powerful streams of hot water washed over her. After a bit, she stepped out wearing one of my T-shirts, which on her looked more like night shirt. Seeing her still shapely legs sticking out from one of my shirts looked a little sexy. My ex-wife used to wear my shirts, and I loved seeing her in them. I found it sexy even then. She smiled as she sat on the bed and brushed her freshly shampooed hair.
“Feel better?” I asked, smiling.
“Much better, thank you. I haven’t taken a decent shower in twenty-five years. No one standing there watching you or having to watch my back. It felt so good to just enjoy it.”
“Good.” I said, smiling and grabbing my travel bag, a towel and some shorts. “My turn.”
She smiled as I walked by and entered the bathroom. The room was still a little fogged up from the hot shower she had taken. I undressed and grabbed the soap from my kit and stepped in the shower. It felt good. The hot jets of water felt wonderful as they struck my flesh and relaxed my tired body. As I added shampoo to my hair, I suddenly found myself thinking that she was just in this very spot, and she was naked. I opened my eyes and looked down at the drain, not knowing why I had that thought. Granted, it had been quite a few years since I got laid last, but this is my mother that I was thinking about. Wasn’t she? Yeah, she is. I hadn’t seen her in twenty-five years, but it was her. Same beautiful, almost angelic face. Blue eyes that bring you in, and a smile that melted hearts.
Looking down, I could see my erection starting. It rose up as if waiting for me to take hold of it like I usually do in the shower or in the mornings before work. I rinsed my hair really quick and added conditioner. With a palm coated with conditioner, I took hold of my cock and started to pump it as fast as I could. It felt good. The creamy conditioner and the hot streams of water on my naked body felt exhilarating as I jerked my cock. My mind flashed to her kisses in the parking lot, and I let out a soft grunt. Her legs, though pale, still looked sexy coming down from the hem of my shirt. I stroked faster, and then slow and easy along my length, enjoying the feel and the pleasure as I pictured her breasts swaying ever so slightly in the new bra that I bought her. Or her bush I imagined, soft and thick with prison growth, covered in the soft cotton panties that she was wearing now. I moaned and felt my knees buckle as I came. A thick stream shot against the shower wall and ran down the drain as I continued to pump and squeeze my cock like a tube of toothpaste to get every last drop out.
I heard a knock on the bathroom door, and her asking if I was alright.
“Yeah, just got some shampoo in my eyes.” I lied. I felt better, relieved, and I washed up quickly after rinsing my hair and dried off. Looking at myself in wipe streaks in the mirror, I shook my head at myself for the thoughts that I had about her. Was it because I hadn’t seen her in so long that I disassociated myself from her as my mother? I saw her as my mother. I remember her being my mother. So why was I jerking off thinking about her as something other than?
When I exited the bathroom, she was curled up in her bed and sleeping. At least her eyes were closed. I turned the lights off and went to crawl into bed. From behind me, I heard her roll over. “Can I ask you something?” she asked.
I turned and sat down on my bed. “Of course you can,”
She sat up and turned, putting her feet on the floor. As she did, I got a quick glimpse between her thighs at the white crotch of her panties. I shook my head to try and clear the thought away.
“Are we ever going to talk about that day?” She asked.
“Yes, and I very much want to, but not now. Now is not the time for that, now is the time for us, for you. But we will, once we get home, and we can relax, and kick back, and talk for as long as you want to.”
She smiled. “That sounds good. I like that idea.” She swung her legs back up on the bed and covered up. I did the same, and lay there with my eyes closed.
“Can I ask another question, and you have to promise not to get upset.” She asked, rolling over to face me. I rolled over to face her.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Did it really feel that damn good when you got shampoo in your eye?” She laughed.
I burst out laughing. “Oh shit…you heard that? Fuck, Mom.” I said, my face turning red.
“I have a confession, I did the same thing.” bursa escort She laughed. “I hadn’t had a decent orgasm in twenty-five years, I had to take the opportunity, and that shower was feeling so good.”
We both laughed until tears fell from our eyes. We laughed and joked for a bit, and when we calmed down, we talked.
“You know, after the divorce, I couldn’t see myself with anyone else, I couldn’t move on, I tried. I would go on dates, but I would always end up saying or doing something that would mess it up. I even tried dating sites on the internet, but those are a joke. Donna was the love of my life, and I ruined that.”
“How so?” She asked.
“I had anger issues, I mean, I never hit her or anything. After dad, I could never hit a lady, but I would get angry and throw things, it scared her, and I couldn’t stop being angry. I tried therapy, but that only works if you are willing to accept help, and I wasn’t willing, not until much later.”
“Was it because of what happened? What I did?”
I looked at her. I didn’t want to admit it, but yeah, it was, but it was also because I failed to kill the fucker myself.
“Partially, but also because it should have been me to pull that trigger, not you. I reached for it, I was going to be your hero, and I would have too had he not been bigger and faster.”
“Oh, Baby, no.” She said, getting up from her bed and coming over to mine. She sat down beside me. “You were just a boy, you were not supposed to be my hero, I was yours, and I would do it all over again if I had to.”
I felt the tears falling down my face as I lay there. Her eyes welled up too, and I saw the pain in her eyes as she started to cry. “I couldn’t stand to see him hurt you again.” I said. “I wanted to kill him so bad, and I tried to grab the gun…I tried.”
My mother lay next to me and held me. She pulled the blanket up and covered herself as she kissed my face and tried to wipe my tears away, but her own tears as they fell only made it impossible, and she finally gave up trying, and we just cried.
I don’t know when we fell asleep, but we woke up still holding each other. She smelled good at that moment, and she felt good being next to me. Her body was warm and soft. She smiled at me. Before I knew it, we kissed, and it felt so amazing to me to feel her do that. Our lips touched again and again. Her hands pressed against my chest and slipped to my sides as we embraced and rolled over. She was on top of me, her hands cupping the sides of my face as her lips locked to mine. I felt my cock harden as she slid back against it and touched it with her firm backside.
“Oh god.” She breathed, “We shouldn’t…”
“No, we shouldn’t.” I said, picking her up and rolling her onto the mattress below me. We stopped briefly and looked each other in the eyes. I saw love in hers, lust, need, and wanting. “Yes.” she said. She pulled me to her, and we kissed again, our tongues exploring each other’s mouths. Our hands exploring each other’s bodies. Her hand reached between us and found my cock hard and waiting. She groaned, pushing her hand inside the waistband of my shorts. Her warm fingers gripped my cock and she squeezed gently and groaned.
I got up, letting her up and she pulled her shirt off and her breasts, encased in soft satin, looked so good. They were still firm, when she removed her bra, watching me, her nipples were hard points, pink and ready. She looked down at the large bulge in my shorts and smiled up at me as I pushed my shorts down. My cock sprang forward towards her, long and hard, and she took me in her hands. “Oh, Ryan…it’s been so long, and you have grown so much.” She said softly.
I closed my eyes as she stroked my cock. There was no turning back now. There would be no way for us to forget this night, and I didn’t want to.
I felt her warm lips and wet tongue on me. I groaned as her warm wet mouth slid down my cock. I wanted to run my fingers through her hair. I wanted to feel her soft hair, smell it and enjoy it. I had always loved her hair. She always had the most beautiful blonde hair.
Her hands slid along my thighs to my ass and back as she bobbed back and forth on my cock. I didn’t want to cum just yet, and if she continued, I would have. I moved back some, and leaned over her, and she lay back on the pillow and looked up at me with a smile. I kissed her again, moving slowly down her body. I kissed her warm breasts and sucked her hard nipples until she moaned softly those same moans I had heard earlier when she was in the shower. Moving down her belly, I reached up and pulled her white panties down. Slowly she lifted her hips, and I could see her lush blonde mound. It was thick and a bit wild, but it was beautiful. I tossed her panties aside after pulling them off, and she opened her legs to me.
“I would have shaved some, but no razor, and I was expecting us to…”
“It’s beautiful.” I said, moving back down between her thighs. I parted her fur and found her lips wet and waiting. She glistened with juices that trickled from her as I parted her soft pedals and licked. She tasted wonderful. She moaned as I found her clit and flicked and sucked it. Her hand touched my hair and held me to her while her other found a breast and she squeezed it. Her thighs opened and closed as I licked.
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