April Fool’s Revenge

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I was just settling in for a study session, ensconced in my dumpster-dive recliner and armed with a cognitive enhancer and a couple of Mountain Dews when I heard the knock. I figured it was Mandy. She had said she couldn’t make it, but must have changed her mind.

“Go ahead, it’s open!” I yelled, still reading my textbook.

The apartment door opened and closed and I heard her come into the room.

“I thought you weren’t going to be able to make it?” I said, not looking up.

“Brandon?” Rachel asked.

“Oh, shit. I thought you were Mandy, Rache. I was hoping she was going to be able to study after all. What the hell are you doing here?” Mandy was a friend from Chem that I studied with. We were friendly, but just platonic so far. I kind of hoped it might turn into something more, but was biding my time, letting the relationship play out.

“Sorry,” Rachel mumbled. I immediately could see something was wrong. My sister Rachel is two years older than me. A junior in college, she is arguably the most gorgeous girl in our school. She followed her boyfriend Bobby to college. They were the cliche couple. He was the hometown hero, the All-American outside linebacker who took his team to State every year in high school where we won the State Championship three times in a row. She was the quintessential cheerleader, beautiful, brunette, bubbly and hanging on his arm. She was Homecoming Queen twice. He was highly recruited all over, getting offers from USC, Michigan and Florida, but picked our State school and Rachel followed him there joining the cheer squad and continuing the cliche. I always figured they’d get married and have a couple of beautiful Bobby Jr. ass-hole kids running around

I followed them two years later. We went to State twice more but without the great Bobby, we couldn’t clinch the big games. I wasn’t highly recruited and I just got one scholarship offer. Bobby’s coaches has seen a bunch of our games and knew I was a clutch receiver so they offered me a full-ride. That and my parents were thrilled to see both of us go to their Alma Mater. So I took the scholarship and followed my sister and Bobby to college.

I had started out red-shirting the season but when our star wide receiver went down with an ACL/MCL tear in the fourth game I got drafted. Nothing spectacular, but I averaged about 70 yards a game the rest of the season, converting a lot of third downs in traffic over the middle. With my 6’1″, 220 pound frame I’d inherited from dad, I wasn’t the fastest WR, but my crisp route running enabled me to get enough separation to catch and bring down those critical 10 yard passes in the slot. Now the season was long over and I was in the middle of a loaded spring schedule as a freshman.

I hadn’t seen Rachel since seeing her at home briefly at the start of spring break almost three weeks ago. She had been her usual bubbly cheerful self, now, not so much. Maybe the rumor I’d heard going around campus today was true.

“I need your help,” Rachel said in a very uncharacteristically humble voice. My sister doesn’t usually do humble. She and Bobby had ruled my high school and now ruled my college.

“Really? You need my help?” I pushed my glasses down to stare over them at her. I couldn’t remember the last time she had asked for my help. Oh, yes it was her senior year in high school, she needed help with her algebra. “Okay, what’s up sis?”

Rachel sighed miserably as she flopped on the couch next to my chair. She looked around the apartment for my roommate. “Don’t worry about Jimmy, he won’t be in tonight, he’s got a hot date with Tonya and it’s Friday night so I don’t expect him back until tomorrow or Sunday even.”

“‘Kay.” She slumped on the couch and stared at her knees.

“C’mon, Rache. Out with it. What’s up?”

It took another minute of navel gazing before she spoke. Rachel was dressed in a very tight pair of skinny jeans with a little gold belt, black ballet flats and a white, scoop neck sweater that hugged her curves. The sweater neck was wide enough that a pink bra strap showed enticingly on one side and the low scoop revealed the swell of her breasts.

“I suppose you’ve heard the gossip? Everyone else has.”

“I heard something about you having AIDS or something?” I had dismissed the whole thing as bullshit since it was April 1st, but Rachel was so miserable-looking I suddenly wondered if the rumors were true.

At this mention of AIDS, Rachel’s anger flared. Her face went red from either embarrassment or anger or both.

“Fucking Bobby! Every year he has to pull some stupid prank on me, each year he has to outdo what he did the year before! This year was the ultimate embarrassment. Fucking prick! I broke up with his ass!” She was literally seething. I’d never seen her like this before, not even when Bobby and Jo Beth made out after state finals my junior year. I actually had a hard time not smiling at this point, thinking back to Bobby’s pranks in high school. One year he had Ankara escort walked up behind her in the cafeteria and with a pair of scissors in hand, pretended to cut off a chunk of her hair in the back. Rachel whirled around and seeing the brown hair extension in his hand, lost it on him in front of everybody until he calmed her down and showed her it was just a hair extension, not a giant lock of her hair.

Another year after a game, he had loaded her blow dryer with baby powder and when she turned it on it blew a giant powder cloud all over her, sticking to her freshly showered face. Last year I heard he had painted ‘Honk if you want to fuck me’ on the back bumper of her car and everyone in town was honking at her as she drove around for two days until one of her friends broke the news. Bobby was always a prankster, arranging for someone to coat the rookie’s jocks with Icy Hot, or getting the offensive line to pick up a teacher’s car and turn it sideways in it’s parking stall. Mostly harmless stuff, but this year’s April Fool’s prank sounded like he had gone way too far.

“Holy shit, sis! You actually broke up with that prick!” Never Bobby’s biggest fan, I had taken a lot of shit and abuse over the years from him. You’d think that him dating my sister would mean he’d cut me some slack but the opposite seemed to be true. He always seemed to have a little extra venom for me, in school, in the locker room or on the field.

Rachel started bawling then. Getting up, I dropped my books to the side of the chair and sat down beside her on the couch and pulled her to my chest where she sobbed for a few minutes. Her hair smelled like peaches and underneath it I could smell her scent. Rachel had always had this smell, some mixture of soap and pheromones and it had excited me for as long as I could remember. I felt my cock begin to get stiff. Fuck! Wrong time for an erection. I tried to concentrate on the stoichiometry I had been studying while I rubbed her back. That wasn’t helping either, every time my fingers ran over her bra strap under her soft white sweater I envisioned her breasts. Moby Dick began to rise from the depths. I knew I shouldn’t feel this kind of attraction for my sister, but I’ve always had this kind of crush, even when she ignored me. She was so gorgeous with such a perfect body I’d have to be dead for my body not to respond.

Rachel blubbered on my chest for some time as she cried herself out. Finally she sat back rubbing at her smeared mascara. Reaching over, I fetched a box of Kleenex from the end table and handed it to her.

“Thanks,” she said with a half-sob.

“That’s what little brothers are for. So what did he do this time?” Rachel blushed at the thought of Bobby’s April Fool’s joke.

“Well, you know how Professor Dalton freaks out at anyone with their cell phone on?”

“Yeah?” Dalton was famous on campus for hating any kind of electronic devices. He wouldn’t allow tablets or iPads to take notes on or record his lectures and if your cell went off in class, the rule was you had to answer it on speakerphone so everyone could hear. A lot of kids muted their phones but if he heard it buzz, you still had to answer it with the speakerphone on, so usually it was just better to turn it off during his classes.

“Well… I’m pretty sure I turned it off before class, but someone must have snuck into my purse during class and turned it back on. I don’t know how because it was hanging on the back of my chair. Anyway half way through class I hear this phone ringing behind me. Everyone looks at me. I pull out my phone and Professor Dalton insists I answer it. I told him I’d shut if off before class and that I’d just shut off the phone and not answer it, but he made me answer the call.”

“I really didn’t want to answer it, it was from the college medical clinic.” She burst into tears again.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s going to be okay.”

“No, it’s not. He’s ruined my life,” she sobbed. What the fuck? Had he knocked up my sister? I was going to kill Bobby.

“So the clinic called, what happened then?”

“I need to go back. About a week ago, Bobby tells me that some chick comes up to him to tell him that she was HIV-positive and that he needed to go get checked out because they had had unprotected sex one night at a party. He swore up and down it never happened, but he also said he was pretty drunk that weekend so he doesn’t remember the whole night. He said he was going to get a test done and that I should too just in case.” Rachel pulled another tissue and balled up the sopping wet one in her hand.

“So I went to the clinic and got tested. They said the test would take about a week. So now, I’m in the middle of Dalton’s lecture and my phone goes off and the Caller ID says it’s the clinic. No way I was going to answer that phone. I’d rather get kicked out of class. But Dalton grabs my phone and hits the answer button and turns up the volume.”

“Someone asks if I was there and I wouldn’t answer. So the Ankara escort bayan fucking professor points the Cheryl beside me and with the nastiest look she’s ever given me, she says ‘Yes’. The guy at the clinic goes on to say that my HIV test came back positive and I need to come in as soon as possible. The whole room just goes quiet. They’re all laughing at me a second before, now they whole place is so silent you could hear a pin drop. I couldn’t even talk. I just hit the End button. Professor Dalton starts apologizing all over the place and saying he’s sorry. I just grabbed my purse and backpack and ran out of there.”

“Oh my god, sis! You’ve got HIV?” My heart broke at this revelation.

“Noooo!” she howled, “I went to the clinic and they said my test results had just come in, but they were negative and no one had called me yet. I completely freaked out at them. In the end I had them retest me just in case.”

“So you don’t have HIV?”

“No. I confronted Bobby this afternoon and as soon as I got close he yells ‘April Fools Baby!’ I asked him what the fuck he was thinking and he said it was all in fun and he and his buddies were all laughing their asses off. I broke up with the son of a bitch, told him to go fuck himself.”

“Good for you, sis! Bobby has always been an asshole but he outdid himself this time. You should talk to someone at the university, they’ll suspend him for this.”

“No they won’t,” she moaned, “he’s a first-team All-American and runner up for the Butkus trophy. He’s had scouts telling him if he skipped his senior year, he’d have gone in the first round of the draft. No way is the university going to suspend their star player.” She leaned into me and sniffled against my chest. “It’ll all get swept under the rug.”

“God, I’m so sorry sis. I’ll fucking kill him for this.” Rachel just hugged tighter. Bobby was three inches taller than my 6’1″ and had thirty pounds on me, but I was so livid with him right now I was pretty sure I could take him.

“I don’t know what to do,” she lamented.

I kissed the top of her head, thinking.

“Okay for starters, we’ll order some pizza,” Rachel loved ham and pineapple pizza, “and we’ll come up with a plan.”

“Okay,” she sniffled.

I picked up my iPhone and ordered a large pizza pie from Sauced, the mom-and-pop pizzeria down the street. I got up and ran a hot bath for Rachel. Guys don’t have bubble bath, so I just poured some of Jimmy’s Axe body wash into the thundering water from the tap to make some bubbles. Retrieving a couple of Jimmy’s scented candles he’d light after a heavy bong session, I lit them and placed them around the tub. I dug out my robe and my fluffiest towel and laid them on the counter. Finally I went and got my big sister and pushed her down the hallway and into the bathroom. Seeing the bubble bath and candles, she burst into tears again and threw her arms around my neck. The feeling of her breasts against my chest and her face against my neck started arousing me again.

Hugging her body tightly to me, I asked, “Do you need anything from home? I can go pick it up when I go get the pizza?”

“No,” she said into my neck, “I can’t go back to my place right now. I just can’t face anyone.”

“Hey, no problem. I can pick up your stuff for you and you can stay here tonight.”

“No, but thank you. You’re the best brother ever.” She let go of me and went into the bath and closed the door.

I grabbed my wallet and keys and headed out, locking the door behind me. First stop was to the Kroger’s for a toothbrush, women’s anti-antiperspirant and some conditioner because I had run out. I contemplated picking up some feminine supplies but had no idea what she used so I abandoned that idea. While I was standing in the feminine product aisle, three college girls walked past gossiping.

“OMG, did you hear about Rachel. Bobby dumped her today after he caught her cheating. He had to go get checked out for STDs and everything,” the one girl was telling her friends.

I lost it. “That is so much bullshit!”

The three girls heads snapped around at this. “Oh my god, were you spying on us?” the blonde asked.

“I couldn’t help but overhear your trash talking. Rachel doesn’t have any STDs, it’s fucking April Fools today and Bobby played a prank on her and she dumped him,” I said trying to set the record straight.

“Whatever,” she dismissed me with a wave and started to turn away.

“Looks like all the fools come out on their name day,” I said nastily and walked away.

Walking to the express checkout, I dumped my purchases on the counter and got out my bank card. I paid and walked out. This was unbelievable. Bobby pulls the most crass stunt ever and everyone was going to dump on my sister.

I headed to the liquor store next and picked up a couple bottles of wine and a six pack for me using my fake ID Jimmy had procured for me. Rachel was going to want to get drunk tonight. Then on to Sauced to pick up Escort Ankara our pizza and back to the apartment. I put down the food, drink and toiletries on the table and texted Jimmy telling him to stay the night with Tonya as I had someone over. The last thing my sister needed was Jimmy being an idiot while she was in pain. He texted back: ‘No prob, bro. Wasn’t planning on bein there 2nite’.

I put away the drinks in the fridge and then went down the hall and knocked on the bathroom door.

“Rache?” I called.

“Mmhmmm?” came the sleepy reply.

“Pizza’s here. Come and get it while it’s still hot.” I returned to the kitchen. I got out a couple of plates, two goblets, pulled the cork on the wine and poured each glass about half full. I took my glass and a couple of slices to the couch and started in on the ham and pineapple. Not my favorite pizza, I prefer a good pepperoni or a meat lover’s, but I could choke down ham and pineapple if it made my sister feel a little better on a shitty day like this.

Presently she came down the hallway wearing my robe and drying her hair with a towel.

“Pizza’s on the table there and I poured you a glass of wine to go with it.” She came into the living room with three slices of pizza on a plate in one hand, and the wineglass stem between two finger of the other hand with the other three fingers holding the wine bottle. She sat down close beside me and tossed her wet hair back before draining about half her glass of wine.

“God, I’m starving. I skipped breakfast ’cause I was running late, and then Dalton’s class was just before lunch and I skipped that when I ran to the clinic. I haven’t eaten since last night,” Rachel said as she took a bite of pizza. She leaned against my shoulder, “Thanks for the bath, I needed that.”

“No trouble, sweetie. I got you a toothbrush and some other stuff you might need if you want to stay the night here. I texted Jimmy and he’s not coming home tonight, so you can stay here. It’ll just be me and you here.”

“Mmmmm,” she said with her mouth full of ham and pineapple, “Thanks, I think I’ll take you up on that.” We stayed like that eating pizza and drinking wine for the next hour, I turned a bit sideways on the couch and she leaned her damp head on my chest as we munched pizza and finished off one bottle and started on the second. Not a whole lot was said. Once the pizza was gone and most of the second bottle of wine consumed, she asked me a question.


“Mmhmm?” I murmured loving the feeling of Rachel’s body against mine. I’d had a crush on her since puberty, but by then she’d already been going with Bobby and had no time for a little brother. We’d been pretty close as kids and played together but once junior high hit, we kind of went our separate ways. She was the town goddess and I was her little nerdy brother. I wore glasses to read and it wasn’t until I hit my growth spurt between my fifteenth and sixteenth year when I shot up to six foot and Dad pushed me to try out for the football team that I fit in anywhere. I would have fit in better if it hadn’t have been for Bobby inflicting a constant torrent of hazing and abuse on my head.

“I’m so sorry,” Rachel sounded like she was going to start crying again. I put down my glass and hugged her with one arm while the other cradled her head on my chest. I loved this girl so much and she was in so much pain.

“Sorry for what? This isn’t your fault. Bobby’s the asshat!”

“I’m just sitting here thinking about how you’re being so good to me and how I’ve treated you the last couple of years. I know Bobby was a dick to you and I never did anything about it. I’m really sorry.”

“Shhh. Don’t worry about it. It’s all water under the bridge. We’re family. Remember what Dad always says? Family comes first.”

“Well, thanks anyway little brother.” She rubbed her hand across my chest and down across my abs. “Who’s not so little any more.”

I laughed, “Between Bobby and the opposing team’s linebackers I have to work out quite a bit to be big enough to take the hits from those guys going across the field. It’s all about survival.”

“I guess I just never noticed,” she said as she ran her fingernails across my ab muscles. We sat there quiet on the couch for a long while Rachel contemplated things. Her light touch on me was causing me considerable difficulty in keeping Mr. Happy at bay. I was more than a little panicked that she would notice the enlarging bulge in my pants. Suddenly she sat up.

“I know you said we’d talk about what to do, but the wine is making me sleepy and I just need to sleep I think,” she said.

“No problem. Let me find you something to sleep in,” I said as I rose from the couch and headed for my bedroom, “You could sleep in Jimmy’s room if you want.”

“Uh, no thanks,” she replied following me, “I really might catch something if I slept in there.”

I laughed. “I’m going to tell him you said that”

“No, don’t. He’s such a horndogger, I find him a little creepy and I just don’t want to sleep in his bed.”

“Okay. You can have my bed and I’ll grab a blanket and sleep on the couch.” I was digging through my drawer for something appropriate for her to wear to bed.

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