Aunt Meg, Friends , Bozo

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Rex and Meg met their university dropout nephew at the airport after his long flight from New Zealand. Meg (34) had expected Thomas to be filled out and to be stylish and handsome and her heart dropped when she saw the under-weight and somewhat angular slouching guy in a T-shirt with the wording, ‘Pregnancies Are My Specialty’.

“Jesus Christ,” said her husband, scowling.

“Hello darling, welcome to Los Angeles,” his mom’s baby sister Meg said, holding a cheek out to be kissed. It was kissed, scraped by whiskers, but she also had one of her big boobs she’d endeavored to keep clear of the clown half mangled in his hand.

God what a jerk. She breathed easier when finding Rex had not seen that despicable action by his nephew because he was watching two young things walking by with the tops of their hold-ups showing. Why the hell couldn’t her inattentive husband show that same interest in her! No way would she wear her skirts that short.

Thomas was settling into his room when Meg walked in, only to hear the boor say, “You have a great set of tits. What size are they?”

Meg made a mental note to add five pounds of rat poison to her shopping list. That ought to be a permanent cure but then he floored her. “They are beautifully shaped in the confines of your bra. I get a hard-on just looking at them.”

She almost melted. God, it had been a long time since anyone had spoken to her like that.

She cooed, “Come here darling,” and spreading out her arms and said confusingly, “You are probably a little homesick. You may caress them if you wish.”

Thomas moved in and grasped them in each hand, well as much of them as he could. “This is great aunty. May I ask how fat are your pussy lips?”

Only by supreme effort did Meg fend off a looming swoon. God Janice her sister the lying bitch. She’d said her son couldn’t hold on to a girl longer than a fortnight and a fortnight could be a record. That simply wasn’t possible. Right now her nephew, twelve years her junior, only had to say, ‘Let me have sex with you Aunt Meg’ and she’d lay it out for him. Fortunately that exchange hadn’t happen because they heard her husband Rex return home especially to have lunch with their dawn-arriving guest. Rex strode into the bedroom and said, “Everything okay in here?”

Meg could smell her arousal and hoped he couldn’t. “Yes darling, I’m helping Thomas to settle in. You might like to unpack that other bag for him.”

“Let the fucker do it himself,” Rex muttered and in a stronger voice said, “Come on you two, let’s go out to lunch and Thomas wear that outrageous T-shirt you arrived in and I’ll screw your fucking neck.”

That horrified the sense and sensibility ingrained in Meg who said softly, “Please forgive this aggressiveness by your uncle darling. You are in his territory and he feels obliged to strut his stuff.”

Rex waited impatiently for his wife to move and scowled.

The visitor said, “Sounds like he needs a good fuck. I’ll don’t mind waiting while you two do it.”

Rex and Meg left the room and held on to one another helplessly in the hallway attempting to smother their hysterics.

“God, he’s such a jerk I think I’ll like him,” Rex said, wiping his eyes.

As they left for the restaurant Rex groaned when he read the wording on Thomas’s latest T-shirt, ‘Unlimited Semen Guaranteed’. He whispered to his wife through gritted teeth, “For goodness sake buy him decent clothes on my card and burn his fucking T-shirts. And induce one of your girlfriends to fuck the daylights out of him to lead him into the world of adulthood.”

Meg was okay about the shopping but she became defensive about her nephew being allowed to have sex with other women. She wanted him. Wasn’t it the duty of an aunt to lead her nephew into adulthood?”

But Rex attempted to run the ship. He said over dinner that evening he’d invited sexy young Mandy from his office for lunch Saturday to determine whether she wanted to date Thomas. “She has boobs to die for,” he confided to earn a ‘you skunk’ look from his wife.

The guy expected by Rex to benefit from his initiative continued eating and didn’t comment.

When Rex went to the bathroom to unload some beer Meg seized the chance to confide to Thomas, “This Mandy can’t find anyone to go out with her because she has multiple STDs.”

“You jealous bitch,” Thomas grinned, appearing to totally lose his normal ignorant persona. “You want me for yourself.”

Reeling but not down and out, Meg appealed to his intellect if indeed he possessed such a thing.

“Thomas, sexually reject all other women while you staying in my house for these two months and I’ll reprogram you providing you promise to do everything I say. Do that and I’ll send you home a top dating prospect.”

He said doubtfully, “Promise to do everything you say? I don’t want to put it up your ass.”

Meg almost fainted but came through the fog and said with unexpected foresight, “We’ll leave that open for negotiation.”

“Okay then is this the deal: You retrain me on behavior and other things Rize Escort like that and in return for my obedience you’ll allow me to fuck you as frequently as I wish but of course not when Uncle Rex is in you.”

Thomas caught Meg at she went to rise and stumbled.

“That was lucky,” he grinned. “Is you bra too tight?”

“No, I just over balanced. All this talk about sex has me unbalanced.”

That night as Rex turned away in bed, his dick missing out on yet another opportunity to visit the neglected pussy practically pulsating only inches from it, Meg sighed and thought how ridiculous was the pathetic pact she’d made with her nephew. In all possibility he was pussy shy.

At 6:45 Rex thrust a cup of coffee and a buttered bagel at her. “Here, I’m off to work. Try to train the pathetic piece of crap called a New Zealander who’s jerking off in our guestroom.”

“Jerking off?” Meg said interested, but was left disappointed when her yawning husband sighed as if his best years lay behind him, “Well that’s what all misfit males without a girlfriend do don’t they? “At Thomas’s age the timing for masturbation was probably at 15-minute intervals.

Meg thought that would be a crying shame, all that semen going to waste. So she did cry as she heard Rex slam the door and head for the car.

An hour later, knees up and spread apart and deep into her dildo play Meg dimly heard Thomas enter the room and thought his other great need would be food. But before she knew it he’d tugged the bed clothes and was saying, eyes bulging, “Why the fuck are you doing that when you have an eager second cock to service you?

Horrified, Meg lay like a deer caught in headlight.

Recovering sufficiently, Meg lifted the hem of her nephew’s T-shirt emblazoned with the wording, ‘Bedside Emergency Pussy Fibrillation Unit’ and almost drowned in her own saliva finding he was hung like a young horse. It unwound into full erection and the fool thrust it right up to her mouth without being invited and drooled, “Suck it before I stick it in.” He yanked out her dong and flung it away contemptuously.

There was no foreplay. He simply pushed in, looking at the ceiling rather than what he was doing and appeared to only notice her swollen breasts two minutes later after he’d pulled out and wiped his dick on to the sheets.

“I haven’t climaxed yet?” she said in anguish.

“Oh you should learn to react sooner.”

Meg imagined his corpse swinging on the gallows.

As soon as he left to forage for food Meg scrambled after her dildo for a great result, panting with a huge smile. God he had a lot to learn. Perhaps the rumor New Zealand males practiced on sheep was true? It was unlikely they could hold ewes still for too long.

Later Meg took Thomas shopping and chose two white T-shirts for him. She knew Rex would have wanted them plain but as she figured Rex would be fooled by the ambiguous wording, ‘I Suck” and the apparently inoffensive athletic-sounding boast, ‘I’m a 2-minute Guy’. However when inspecting the shopping later Rex whispered to Meg, “That suggests he can only go for two minutes between periods of jerking off doesn’t it?”

“Oh I thought it meant two minutes between meals,” the attractive brunette said vaguely.

Mandy with big eyes, big tits and big thighs arrived for lunch Saturday and Meg watched in disgust as Rex was all over her like an eager puppy before introducing her.

“This is my er wife um Meg.”

“Oh hi Meg. You’ll be pleased to know Reg is ever so popular with the females at work especially (giggle) the younger ones like me (giggle) aren’t you darling?” she said, linking arms with Rex and running a hand down his arm absent-mindedly.

Meg resolved to buy um Rex a T-shirt that proclaimed, ‘I Hate Whores’. She said, “Oh hi Macy, welcome to my home.”

“It’s Mandy,” the visitor said crossly and Meg looked at the visitor dumbly.

“And this fine young man is Thomas Manly, whose mother is Meg’s much older sister who lives in New Zealand. The guys there shag sheep.”

But Mandy was geographically more aware than Rex. “No silly, you’ve got that wrong. That’s Australia and is why Australian’s are go good at sport, running so hard after terrified sheep.”

Thomas leered, “Yeah, right Macy.”

She asked appearing puzzled, “Who’s Macy?”

Meg could have hugged her nephew, catching his wink.

“Why don’t you show Macy your bedroom darling,” said Meg.

“It’s Mandy.”

“No not you Rex,” Meg frowned. “I meant Thomas.”

Macy er Mandy and Thomas got that sorted and went off.

Mandy came rushing out one minute, fifty seconds later clutching her torn panties and snarled, “I’m off.”

Meg escorted Mandy to her car and asked, “What went wrong? Did Thomas lay a finger on you.”

“He asked did I like sex. I said yes. He flipped me on to me back, tore off my panties and shoved it right up me. It was so big that I was hugely delighted but in less than a minute he shuddered, wiped himself on my skirt and smiled and said let’s go for some food.”

“So you Rize Escort Bayan didn’t have sex?”

“Well I didn’t. I yelled what about foreplay and the jerk asked what was that.”

“Oh dear. Well just as well it was brief. Thomas is getting over an attack of STDs.”

“Ohmigod,” Mandy wailed and took out one of their gateposts as she reversed out of the driveway at speed.

“Where’s Mandy going?” Rex asked and wailed, “Look what she’s done to our gatepost.”

“She remembered she had a medical appointment for a pregnancy test and said she won’t be back.”

Rex fell unexpectedly quiet after saying, “Well it’s only a gatepost.”

Next morning after Rex had left for work Meg rewarded Thomas by opening her legs for him. It was quite a marathon for him, taking two minutes and thirteen seconds. Meg timed it.

Leaking her way to the bathroom she said, “Stay there. I’ll bring our breakfast to bed.”

Placing the tray on the bed Meg stripped off to give him a good look at her boobs and tried to hold in her belly.

“You are really voluptuous for a younger woman,” the guest said, leaving Meg to ponder whether or not that was a compliment.

* * *

Lesson One was the overview, lecturing her nephew about what a guy was supposed to think when moving to have sex and what a woman feels and wants and how her mood swings affect her desire for sex and enjoyment of it.

“I never knew women had mood swings. Isn’t it a waste of time?”

Meg sighed.

“I find it incredible to be told woman can enjoy sex. All the guys I know say women only give it to guys to keep in good with them and knowing guys love getting their rocks off.”

Meg sighed.

Meg had worried that Lesson Two was probably far too advanced; it dwelt on the erogenous zones, But no. Thomas handled it very well. Meg used her body as a practical teaching aid and that certainly helped. As her student fumbled on she ended up having countless orgasms.

After lunch and another speedy bout of sex they went on to breasts and then pussy.

At 4:00 they had a shower and Meg used that time to teach her nephew the various ways to fuck in the shower and he left the box appearing to be rather legless because although he only took a couple of minutes to shoot, he never failed to shoot. She loved it and later emailed her sister Janice and said Thomas was being such a good boy, a real joy to have in the house. She added ‘er mostly’ to avoid triggering Janice’s suspicions. She wondered how many times a day Thomas fucked his mom.

Meg spent the final hour teaching Thomas about housework. He was appalled, alleging it was too fiddly for a guy and Meg half admitted probably he was correct but caught his interest when she explained the various ways a guy could get lucky while sharing housework duties… e.g. when the female was sucking her thumb dusting or bent over filler the bottom drawers of a dresser.

That evening while the men found they were pals because they both liked watching sport on TV Meg called her sexy blonde friend Val and told her about Thomas and the need to uplift Thomas’ sexual experience.

“You specialize in titty-fucking.”

“Who told you that?”

“You always tell us when you get drunk.”


Meg went into the TV room and said to Thomas, “My friend Val wonders if you could walk her dog tomorrow and stay for lunch?”

“Yeah okay.”

The brute beside him grizzled, “Val never invites me to lunch with her alone.”

“She’s my friend, that’s why,” Meg almost spat.

* * *

Thomas went by cab to Val’s home because Meg had gone early to her library job where she worked Wednesday to Friday each week. Val came to the open front door and Thomas liked what he saw. The tall blonde of thirty-two had a magnificent pair of knockers er breasts.

“Oh hi, you must be Thomas?”

“Yeah and you have a dog for me to walk.”

“Oh yes, oh you took that seriously? I’ll find Max. He’ll be asleep somewhere. Do you want to kiss me? I’m Valerie Younger and my husband is Ted who is away on business today.”

“Yeah okay.

Val was lulled into thinking the ape wasn’t really interested so offered her cheek, only to have her face grasped by the jaw and turned and as he smashed his lips against hers and his other hand dropped on to her right boob and squeezed.

“Ohmigod,” she said rather breathlessly.


“Oh nothing. Welcome to our home Thomas.”

“Thank you. You have great tits.”

“Oh, oh my. Where are you Max?” she quavered.

They found Max, an overweight Spaniel on the sofa in the TV room. Val snapped a lead on and handed the grip to Thomas.

“He won’t walk far. He’s a lazy sod.”

“He definitely must be male?”

“What? Oh a joke?” She giggled and stroked Thomas’ arm, looking into his eyes intently.

“Don’t leave home,” he said.

“Oh no way. I’m looking forward… oh, a joke?” She giggled.

Max lumbered along and each time he turned to go back Thomas pulled him around to go forward again. Max began walking slower Escort Rize and slower until Thomas sighed and turned towards home and Max practically broke into a gallop to make the two hundred yards back to the house.

Thomas grinned at the thought of being conned by a dog.

Val was sweeping the front porch when they returned.

“Oooh, that was a short walk. We’ll have to blame Max. He’s beset by somnolence.”

“Um. Do you have food?”

“Of course I do darling. Please put Max into the TV room and close the door so he doesn’t disturb us.”

“Why, what will we be doing, eating lunch?”

“Ah yes, lunch is a good answer. I’ll off to change.”

Val was wearing what he’d call regulation housewife clothing: slippers, unsexy stockings, a cheap button-up-the-back dress and her hair in a ponytail. For god’s sake even Max wouldn’t find her sexy. She’d been a great disappointment to Thomas. He guessed sex wasn’t on the luncheon menu and anyway it was doubtful that Mrs Younger could be interesting enough to bring him to erection. This pessimism was just idle musing because he trusted Aunt Meg enough to know she wouldn’t let him down in sending him to Val. Aunt Meg had accepted her responsibility to assist him to become a sexually advanced adult lover, not that she had much of a fucking base to work on. God was he grumpy. Too much sex? He was unsure about that.

Thomas knew he wasn’t altogether to blame for his teetering sex life. He’d had a strict bringing up with two narrow-eyed grandmothers warning his dick would drop off if he beat it and his parents requiring him as a teenager to be home in bed each night at 8:00 — so guess what got whacked?

Although he was a non-residential day student for the two and a half years he endured university Thomas was led into sexual adventures during gaps between lecturers, ranging from one-on-ones to groupies with inexperienced young women attempting to make sense out of sex. He read jerk magazines and watched DVDs that would have hurled his mom and two grandmothers into earlier than expected graves but whenever he sank his dick into pussy nothing much happened to him apart from the desire to ejaculate. There appeared to be a missing link. He wondered if he were missing the sex gene.

“Oh here I am Thomas,” Val announced as she came into the room, eyeing him steadily.

Thomas’s dick went DWANG as it jumped to attention, hurting itself against his tight jeans.

Val was now dressed in jeans and stylish brown boots. Her hair was combed high and she wore dangling earrings, the kind women wear to keep them focused thinking about dangling cocks while they work or go shopping. She was fully made up. But it wasn’t that that had made his dick launch like a torpedo. Her gut was bare, her arms were bare and for a bra she wore a halter thing of two round metal circles that made her tits stick out and the puffy nipples had obviously been groomed to appear prominent.

“Oh Mrs Younger.”

“Oooh Thomas. What would you like for lunch?”

“Two puffy nipples please.”


She pushed them at him and Thomas was into them like a rat fleeing up a drainpipe.

He sucked and slurped knowing Val had an arm squeezed down the front of her jeans and was beating her cunt or whatever women do.

The breasts appeared to swell. He’d never experienced anything like it and finally she interrupted her ooohs to say, “Please removed my harness darling and fuck my tits.”

Hands trembling Thomas did what he was told, amazed that a woman would call her breasts tits but then again didn’t Aunt Meg calls hers tits when they were having sex?

“I’m removing my jeans darling but I don’t want you to touch my groin or my ass. Do you understand? I don’t want your fingers or your dick near those crevices? Possibly tongue invasion may be granted privileges.”

Crevasses, gee they must be big, Thomas thought but said he understand; she had no wish to commit adultery.

Val smiled and stepping out of her jeans patted his cheek and said he was so intelligent.

Thomas refrained from saying he was intelligent enough to query if titty fucking in these circumstances wasn’t adultery then what was it? A substitute for taking Max for a tiring walk of two hundred yards?

Val lay on the sofa, telling Thomas to totally strip, and from nowhere produced a container of lube and sprayed it between her tits.

“Ohmigod,” she said, eyeing Thomas dick. “I understood from Meg you were sexually undeveloped.”

Thomas shrugged.

Val organized him to straddle her and then led him through the techniques. At times Thomas would groan he had to come and she’d slap his face and say she didn’t want him to come. Thomas would groan that hurt and Val would kiss the cheek and say she was sorry and they’d continue on. Eventually Vale could tell by the poor boy’s purple and contorted face he had to come. She lifted her head, squeezed his balls and opened her mouth and then a wall of semen surged forth.

“Ohmigod,” she spluttered. “Well that’s my lesson over. Remember what you have been told and keep your hands soft and movements slow. Fucking a woman is not a race and neither is it an opportunity to show how strong you are. Your woman will be only interested in how gentle you are, how interested in her you are and how well you get her off.”

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