Go Ask Alice

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I was halfway through writing this when I realized it was a bit different from my usual depraved musings. Somehow it turned into a contemplation on power and dominance and how those things affect relationships even while the people in those roles may be completely unaware of them. Tom and Alice are based on a real couple. They had a god awful marriage but went on to have an enviable relationship after their divorce. I always thought sorting out their power dynamics had something to do with that. Jake was a real person, completely unexceptional but someone who seemed to breeze through life calling the shots as he saw fit. Of course you don’t know him but I’m sure you probably know someone like him.

Also, if you’ve read any of my other stories, you know that for me there’s no such thing as gay sex or straight sex. Just plain, old, dirty, filthy fun sex. Make of that what you will.


I met Beth when she was still in college. Back in those days she was disposed to dressing like the movie version of a hooker. Big floppy sun hat and jeans cut so short that most of her ass was well exposed. Tube tops and buffalos sandals. Long blonde hair and a deep tan. Think Jody Foster in Taxi Driver but much, much hotter. For all that shameless display she claimed to have no self awareness of how she came across. Oh of course she’d complain about the cat calls and harassment she’d get on the street but never seemed to connect the way she dressed with all the unwanted attention. Yeah, I know. Any random woman can dress like a nun and still get hassled but honestly, to see her walk down the street… Hollywood gorgeous with her tits and ass hanging out was pretty much an instant hard on for any red blooded guy.

By the time she was ready to graduate, she seemed to pull back from that. She was still hot but didn’t dress nearly as provocatively. As her boyfriend I had mixed feelings about it. I wasn’t crazy about all the attention she was getting but some small part of my reptile brain must have secretly enjoyed having a partner that looked like a whore and inspired such gut level responses from everyone.

Years later, after she was a mom and card carrying PTA member, I had to ask her why… what was going through her mind back then? She was gorgeous enough in just a t-shirt and jeans. Why did she feel the need to dress like a centerfold?

At first she denied everything but I’d taken a lot of photos of her back then… she was a living, breathing pinup how could I not? Confronted with all the evidence she blushed a little and admitted that OK, early on it was how she learned to get attention. Once she got used to the power it gave her it was hard to pull back. For my own part I had to admit that I missed having her on display.

“If you ever want to go on vacation somewhere and put it all out there again, I’d be fine with it. You were REALLY hot!”

She smacked me on the head.

“I’m a mom!”

And for a long time that was pretty much where it stayed. Sometime around the 20 year mark of being married, we had all the classic signs of a dead bedroom. We didn’t fool around much and when we did, it was over quick… just one more thing to do between bills and diapers and dishes. I had a space carved out for myself in the basement and with Internet porn becoming more mainstream, it was probably the one thing that kept me sane.

Say what you will about porn, there’s so much of it out there that if you can imagine it, you can probably find it. Over time, what you gravitate to starts to give you a clear definition of your sexual identity in ways that were never possible before. You watch something. It makes your dick hard in some unique and special way. Guess what, you’ve just learned something about yourself.


One weekend, our friend Tom was supposed to stay at our place. He and his wife Alice had been our next door neighbors for years until they split and moved on to different cities. At her best Alice was cute, petit, just a tad chubby, bordering on adorable. She never worked a day in her life but was always quick to get on Tom’s case about how they didn’t stack up to the Joneses. Their house was too small, car too old, vacations not exotic enough. After years of this he’d had about all he could take. He was back in town to sell the house and just needed a place to crash for a few days. At this point both of our own kids were in college and for the first time in a very long while, we had the place to ourselves.

Tom knew how to make himself welcome. He brought a bottle of champagne (there was his divorce and the sale of his house to celebrate) as well as some moderately potent weed. Neither Beth or I had smoked in a long time… just too many obligations and restrictive social circumstances for us to ever relax enough. Tom and I had been buds since college. Seeing him unattached and back in touch with the version of himself I knew before he was married was energizing. He looked like some long suffering soul whose burden had finally been sakarya seks hikayeleri lifted.

Beth liked him and was happy to get a chance to see him again. Alice meanwhile, had always been a stone, cold bitch. There was always a shitload of drama whenever she was around and her domestic antics became a regular topic of conversation for us. It hurt to watch how much she’d been able to taunt and fuck with his head in any given week. We all tried our best to be nice to her and ease some of the obvious tension in their marriage but I can’t say that either of us were sad to see her finally gone.

I stuck the champagne in the freezer to chill as Tom rolled a few joints. He always had this quality of being precise in everything he did. His process of grinding up the marijuana, spreading it out on the table, folding the ez-wider paper and finally, rolling geometrically perfect looking joints was impressive.

I dimmed the lights and put some old R&B on the turntable. Beth raised an eyebrow… Half seriously, she said “You guys think you’re back in your dorm?” and put me to work making a salad.

Tom lit up a joint and passed it to Beth. She surprised me by taking a break from what she was doing and actually taking a few hits. She was a light weight and I idly wondered where this might be going.

“What’s on the menu?” Tom asked, curious about the odd set of ingredients spread out on the counter.

“Spaghetti. And bacon and eggs. Or as the Italians call it, Spaghetti Carbonara.”

Just slightly horrified, “OK, sure, why not…” intercepting the joint from Beth and passing it on to me.

There were streams of marijuana smoke mixing with the aromas coming from the kitchen. The combination of scents of were enough to get me high and slightly ravenous.

Getting ready to drain the pasta, Beth said “We’re going to eat out on the deck if that’s OK?”

It was late September. The worst of the dog days were over and even the bugs had lately been behaving themselves.

I said “I’ll crack open the champagne, we can have a dip in the pool before dinner.”

This is the usually the cheesy part where Tom is supposed to say something like “Oh, but I didn’t bring my bathing suit…” wink, wink, wink but the truth is we’d known each other a long time. Spent our share of time in steam rooms and saunas and skinny dipping on camping trips. Even a few mutual hand jobs when our blood alcohol levels had been high enough.

I brought the champagne out in a bucket of ice and the two of us jumped in bare assed.

After Beth finished up in the kitchen, she disappeared into the bedroom for a few minutes then finally came down wearing a bikini that hadn’t seen the light of day in a very long time.

I had to hand it to her. In all the years we’d been together she’d managed to hold on to her figure. A few extra pounds maybe but they just added to the curves. She was one of those detestable people that could eat whatever they want, never exercise and still manage to look like an athlete. That bikini didn’t leave much to the imagination and Tom let out a good sized wolf whistle as she shimmied into the pool.

This was good. The night air was cool but the pool was warm. There were a million stars blazing over head. We clinked glasses and toasted to a future that suddenly seemed wide open.

The three of us were close enough that even rubbing elbows seemed to generate some body heat. I looked down through the ripples and noticed that Tom was sporting a pretty good sized hard on. Beth must have noticed that around the same time I did.

“Do you think I can borrow a bathrobe from you guys?”

Spurred on by the mix of wine and weed, Beth started to giggle.

“Oh c’mon Tom, we’re all adults here. Nothing to be shy about.”

“Well that’s easy for you to say, all wrapped up in that matronly bathing suit.”

Matronly? There was an eyepatch sized piece of cloth held together by two strings barely covering her pussy. I didn’t think so.

She reached around her back and in a single smooth move, unsnapped her bra. Her 36C’s tumbling out on cue.

“Is this better?”

Now it was my turn to get hard. Back in our single days Beth and I had our share of threesomes, foursomes, drunken backroom gropes but it had all been ages ago and all those episodes had long since faded to dim memories. When we had kids we turned into a spinoff of Little House on the Prairie and did our best to be exemplary parents. Tried to raise them the best we knew how. Along the way I’d forgotten how filthy, depraved and aroused I’d get with her nude and on display to other guys. I never did understand why… it was completely involuntary. Whenever that happened, some set of synapses buried deep in my brain stem ordered my cock to throb and get hard.

We hung out in the pool a while longer, drinking more champagne and smoking the slightly soggy, geometrically precise joints that Tom had rolled earlier. Did weed get a lot stronger in the last few years? I was getting stoned enough to be occasionally unsteady on my feet. I was glad we were in the water and could just float if needed. Beth, never a hard core smoker, kept laughing her ass off for no reason in particular, her breasts floating just above the surface of the water like something from a Roman fountain.

On some unseen cue, she announced that dinner was ready. Time to bravely venture out from the pool.

“So we’re really going to do this? Dinner au naturel?” Tom asked innocently.

“Well why not. It’s a lovely night and we’re all getting along splendidly, aren’t we darling?” Beth seemed to have picked up the beginnings of an aristocratic British accent as some side effect of the marijuana.

Not to be left out, Tom and I both replied, “Well yes. Rather splendidly, I must say.”

What was left of Beth’s bathing suit was gloriously bare, tucked up deep into her butt crack.

Tom had the perfect spot for watching Beth climb the ladder out of the pool. He hesitated for a moment, then said, “Why Beth, your ass looks absolutely magnificent tonight.” and looking at me, “Don’t you agree?”

Dinner turned out to be a glorious mess. Spaghetti Carbonara is a simple recipe but relies on timing, heat and proportion of ingredients. Stoned as we were all that went to hell. What Beth served was a congealed mess. For a second, no one said a word as she tried in vain to scoop out dinner into something presentable. When she started to laugh that was permission for us to lose it as well. Snapshot from that evening, Tom and I with big hard cocks laughing our asses off as my wife, tits out, tried to serve dinner.

It was delicious anyway. I knew the evening wasn’t going to end without some fun, the only question was how to get started. My wife knows (loves actually) that I’m bi. So does Tom. But neither of them knew that the other knew so it was a bit of a surprise to both when I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock and started to give him a few slow, hard strokes.

Beth’s eyes lit up at the sight. I looked at her, his cock in my hand and asked her, in the fake British accent that seemed to be the theme for the night, “…darling, would you be a love and help our guest here?”

I don’t recall the details but somehow we managed to wind up in our bedroom, the scent of marijuana and chlorine still burning in our nostrils. Tom’s prick was long and creamy and hard enough to hang a dish towel off of. I’d imagine it must have taken every ounce of self control to stop him from tossing my wife on the bed and just having his way with her. The two of us pulled down her bikini bottoms pausing just long enough to admire how round and full her 50 year old ass still was. I gave it a hard smack… enough to make her yelp and leave a rosy outline of my handprint on her butt cheek. Tom responded by licking and kissing her that very spot, “…just to make it better.”

I was sprung. It had be years since we’d done anything of the sort. I got on my knees and buried my face in her pussy, already wet and warm and oozing in anticipation. She and Tom started to make out, their lips locking a few feet over my head. His cock was practically in my face and impossible to ignore. Secretly, this combination was one of the things I absolutely loved. To go down on both my wife and her lover, to get them hard and wet and ready for each other, then service them both as they fucked and finally to clean them up, lap up all the cum from her freshly fucked pussy and his cock when they were done. This was a favorite fantasy of mine, one I’d jerked off to dozens of times and it had left me convinced that I was the only irredeemable pervert out of the 7 billion people on Earth that had this particular kink. I was shocked the first time I came across it in porn… so it’s not just me?

In one of my favorite video sequences there’s a lovely middle aged wife who jerks off her lovers cock into her husband’s open mouth. He proceeds to go down on her and spill all that yummy cum all over her pussy, occasionally sucking his cock again just to make sure he got every drop. Appalling. Depraved. For me, absolutely wonderful to realize that at least some other humans seem to share that in common.

Even better, the first time Beth watched that scene with me, she had a spontaneous orgasm. Went from mild curiosity to grinding her pussy and cumming like a freight train from just the visual. Made me realize at that moment how much I loved watching her jerk off… the filthier and more depraved the source the better.

“Would you like to try that some time?”

In the worlds quietest, breathiest response, “Yessss”

The three of us spent the next week in a depraved rut. We all shared a bed. Beth slept between us. We’d wake up in the middle of the night to take turns fucking her. Or if she was too tired and exhausted, she’d jerk off as she watched us suck each others cocks. The three of us got used to the mix of pussy and cum, the aftertaste never completely fading from our mouths. We lost sight of where our limits were. It became sort of a game to push the envelope just to try and see how depraved we could get.

Licking my wife’s asshole as she was getting fucked? Check.

Beth jerking off as she watched Tom cumming on my face? Check.

Both of us taking turns cumming in my wife’s ass? Check, and her spreading her legs to show off all that nasty goo pouring out of her asshole? My sweet wife. Mother of my children. Head of the PTA and chairwoman of the plant sale committee? Check.

Our debauchery was only interrupted by a job interview Beth had scheduled for Monday morning. She woke up early and disentangled herself from the heap of flesh we had all been sleeping in. Showered, got organized and dressed to impress for the job she was applying for. Tom and I were just waking up, both of us nursing a good sized case of morning wood. We were slowly stroking each other’s cocks and watching my wife as she went back and forth, doing a reverse strip tease from being naked to panties and bra to fully dressed and fixing her hair, applying her makeup and shimmying into her work clothes. I was getting off on the mutual handjob. Stroking his cock was out of sync with the sensations I was getting from him stroking mine. My brain didn’t know what to make of the mixed signals and soon my cock was cast iron stiff and slick with precum.

Tom had this stupid look on his face. “Let’s not let her leave until she gives us blowjobs…”

Well that was ridiculous. Adolescent, almost evil… Beth really wanted this job and she’d already put so much effort into getting ready.

He blocked the door just as she was making her way out, stroking his cock and looking at her straight in the eye.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, I’m going to be late!”

“Oh c’mon. This won’t take long. It’ll bring you luck!”

I knew this was stupid and fucked up but in my heart I think I was rooting for Tom. She dropped her briefcase and sat down on a kitchen chair. Pulled Tom in by his cock but before she started to go down on him, she said “Don’t you dare get anything on my clothes. I’m still going to make this work!”

Temporarily out of the loop, I was happy just to watch.

Beth is petite… her mouth’s not all that big and she has a gag reflex that always limited the intensity of her cock sucking. Her normal blowjob style was to suck and lick the head until I was just about to cum then switch to quickly stroking my cock so she could revel in watching me spurt, skillfully applying her hands until I was drained and spent. She really seemed to love this part… occasionally she’d point my cock at my face and if the conditions were just right, treat me to a mouthful of my own cum.

This morning though she wasn’t taking any chances of compromising her work clothes. She impaled her face on his cock until his balls were pressed tightly into her chin. Every now and then Tom would pull completely out and I’d reach over to stroke his cock to keep him hard. He hadn’t expected her to go at it with this much intensity and he started to cum before he was ready. She quickly buried his cock deep in her mouth and her throat. I could see Tom tense up as he started to cum, each spurt accompanied by a mindless grunt and him jamming his cock harder into her mouth. I was impressed, I’d never seen anyone get face fucked like that.

Finally, he was done. She licked his cock until it was squeaky clean and said, “There… you happy?” and rushed out the door, checking her watch along the way. She could fix her lipstick in the car. Her hair was slightly disheveled and she had a barely perceptible sheen of perspiration covering her face. If anything, she looked completely irresistible now.

Tom wondered, “Do you think they’ll smell the cum on her breath?”

Sadly, Tom had to go back to Seattle after the closing on his house was complete. It took weeks for the two of us to come down off the high and continued to fuck each other like we were drunk teenagers instead of an old, married couple.

Oh, and for the record, she got the job.


A few months later I had to fly out to LA for work and made it a point to take a detour to Seattle. Tom picked me up from the airport and drove me to his loft. He was working a few days a week as software developer and making scads more money than he did when he was back in New York.

“I’ve got a friend staying with me a few days a month. Really nice guy, you’re going to like him.”

His friend Jake turned out to be a good ten or fifteen years older than either of us. Balding and a bit paunchy but with a really engaging smile. Tom didn’t waste any time waiting to serve drinks.

“So being single seems to agree with you.” I said that as much of a request for more information than anything else.

“Yeah, after being with Alice for most of my adult life, it’s been a chance to finally get an idea of who I am. Jake’s been sort of a mentor for helping me get through this.”

What the fuck did that mean exactly? I was perfectly happy, even proud to be out as bi. I wasn’t sure what Tom was up to with this guy.

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