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Thankfully, my alarm went off in the morning. I wasn’t feeling much like it, but I went ahead and did my normal routine. I gave myself an enema in the shower, I masturbated five times, wrote DARLA in my ass crack, put the bands on my nipples and got dressed for school. The tattoos caused me such agony. I couldn’t believe they would mark me for the next week or two.
I wore the most conservative outfit I could find. The purple T shirt was long enough to tuck into my skirt. The just-above-the-knee denim skirt was long enough to cover my ass even when I bent over. No bra or panties, of course, I didn’t have any. I pulled on a pair of purple socks and black ankle boots. I finished with a set of bracelets on each wrist to obscure my Lesbian Slut stamps and headed down for breakfast.
I had a piece of toast, a glass of orange juice and a casual conversation with Mom before she headed out to work. I watched the clock and suddenly wished I didn’t have to ride the bus to school. I wondered if Julie would sit beside me, like she had for the last seven years or would she avoid me like the plague.
I let myself sob for a little while. It was best to get it out now, or at least to try to get it out now. I didn’t want to cry on the bus. At five minutes to bus arrival, I went to the bathroom and cleaned up my face. I grabbed my back pack and headed out the door to my fate.
Outside, it was a pleasant enough of a day. I felt miserable though as I walked towards the bus stop. Julie wasn’t there. Each step was labored as I made my way to the stop and arrived with a couple of minutes to spare.
I looked at her door, waiting for her to come out. Each second that ticked away was painful. Was she looking out her window at me? Was she going to come out at just the last second to catch the bus so she wouldn’t have to deal with me? Would she out me to the whole school? Would she just get her mom to drive her to school so she wouldn’t have to see me?
My question was answered, when I saw a familiar car pull in front of Julie’s house. I had driven that car just two days ago. It was Brad and Rebecca. They never even got out, Julie came out of the door as they pulled in and wouldn’t even look at me. She climbed in the passenger side to the back seat and they drove off.
I watched, tears springing to my eyes to see if she would even turn back to look at me. She didn’t. I bawled and shook and saw… a piece of glass sitting on the ground, it was a whole broken bottle actually. I wondered what it would feel like? How would it feel to cut my skin? Just a little cut; just enough to let the pain out. I leaned over to pick up a large shard and through blurry eyes, I saw the bus coming. I stuffed the piece of glass in my book bag and climbed on the bus.
I went to our usual seat and fell into it. I turned my head out the window and cried, staring at the passing scenery, taking in none of it. It was the worst ride to school of my life. Someone tapped my shoulder from the seat behind me, gently.
“Are you okay Carrie?” A voice whispered softly.
“No,” I whimpered, “But there is nothing you can do, thanks.” I knew who sat there, no point looking back, she wasn’t a friend, just an acquaintance.
The bus finally arrived at school and I waited there, crying out the window as the bus emptied of all the other students. When the last had passed from behind me, I wiped my eyes and stood up and took my place in line to get off the bus.
As I descended the steps off the bus, I looked through reddened eyes for someone, anyone who could make me feel better. Perhaps even someone who could make me feel worse. I found both as I saw Farin and Rebecca waiting at the steps to school off to the side.
I approached them, knowing what they wanted to know and see. Farin smiled brightly at me, but I couldn’t bring myself to return it. I closed the distance, solemnly awaiting something to make me feel alive again, to take away the deep pain in my chest.
“What’s wrong?” Farin asked me, quite concerned as I got within talking distance.
Rebecca laughed. “She told Julie she is a lesbian and Julie freaked.”
I raised my eyes to Rebecca’s, my mouth open to stammer some response, but none came and I hung my head dejectedly and let the tears flow once more.
“You can really be a bitch sometimes Rebecca.” Farin whispered loud enough for me to hear. She came over and hugged me and as good as it felt, I couldn’t hug her back. I just hung there, kind of existing.
Farin wrapped an arm around my waist and led me inside, Rebecca following right behind us. “She thinks you want to fuck her now, you know that right?” Rebecca laughed. “Of course, it’s obvious she is right about that.”
I started to turn to argue, but just let myself turn back and walk numbly to the bathroom with Farin. Farin pushed the door open and led me back to the stall at the end. “I did it all.” I mumbled, somewhat put of that Farin felt the need to check.
“I know.” Farin whispered. I looked up casino oyna at her face and she started to cry.
“Oh for God’s sake.” Rebecca broke in. “Honestly Farin, if you aren’t able to handle it just fucking leave.”
Farin didn’t say a word, she just turned away from me and sobbed softly. I was confused and a little frightened.
“Look,” Rebecca said to me, “I know you are all fucked up or whatever about Julie. Just let it go. We don’t have time for these little broken hearts of yours all the time.”
I looked at Rebecca and wanted to scream at her, but I dropped my head towards the floor and said nothing. “Darla thinks we have been way too easy on you, so shit is going to get a little more interesting.” She smiled. “Well, interesting for me anyway. She gave me freedom to collect on my favors.”
I looked at her hard, something inside me wanted to slap her. But, I didn’t, I just stood there and waited for whatever she had to say.
“Good, glad you know your place.” She smiled. “From now on, what I say goes. Farin,” And she said her name like it pained her to say it, “Could do the same, but we both know she loves you and won’t. Whatever, her loss.”
“Keep your phone on hand at all times, answer your text messages immediately. We are having lunch in the bathroom again, so meet me there straight from fourth period. Run there or I will let you perform without your mask.”
I shuddered at the thought of the gimp suit. Rebecca saw my reaction and laughed lightly. “No paddle this time, apparently your sorry ass can’t handle it. I have some other things in store for you. Now, bend over, lift your skirt over your ass and spread your cheeks.”
I glared at her and didn’t move for a few seconds. Rebecca lifted her hand as if to slap me, but I turned before she did, bent and lifted my skirt. “Good whore.” She giggled. “Now, this is going to be uncomfortable, but you will thank Darla for it later. Personally, I would rather go without it, but she doesn’t want you to get hurt too bad.”
I had no idea what she was talking about, but none of it sounded good. I gripped my ass cheeks and spread them wide. “Farin, you’re a lesbian, why don’t you do it?” Rebecca said in disgust.
Farin turned around, still sobbing. She took something from Rebecca and crouched down behind me so her face was about level with my ass. She pushed something cool and wet at my asshole and then twisted her finger to work it in. My eyes snapped open.
“Farin… no.” I gasped, as she pushed the finger inside and began slowly fucking me with it.
I sobbed with her. Farin’s finger was shaking as it lubricated my ass. Then she stuck a second finger alongside the first and lubed them both generously before pushing them in. The pain of having my little hole opened like that was tremendous and I grunted at the intrusion. She just kept fucking my tiny butt hole with her two fingers until my sphincter ceased its death grip and they slid in and out easily.
I was still grunting though. It was horrible. Especially with Rebecca giggling at my discomfort. I suppose, satisfied with the ass fucking she gave me, Farin stopped and withdrew her fingers. She then applied lubricant to a piece of rubber that was phallic, but not quite. It widened much larger than a phallus and just below the widest part, it tapered down to a much thinner width.
What I later learned was a butt plug, was then pressed, with it’s lubricated tip, at my asshole and I groaned. “Farin, you can’t be serious!” I said aloud. I started to move away.
“Carrie, stay still and let her do it.” Rebecca ordered. “I don’t want to have to hold you still, but I will.”
I cried loudly. “Why won’t you just leave me alone?”
“Because bitch, you stole my boyfriend. I will never leave you alone.” Rebecca snapped at me.
Something about the statement, ‘I will never leave you alone’ made me snap. I turned around, standing up and glared at Rebecca. “This is not permanent Rebecca. In thirty-five days I am done with you and Darla and all this… this…” I couldn’t think of what to call it. Surely it was torture. But it was more than that.
Rebecca stared at me smiling. “Forty-one favors. I will be sure they go past thirty-five days.”
I sobbed and lowered my head to my hands. “Why do you hate me so much Rebecca? You have Brad. He went back to you.”
“Yeah, but you humiliated me bitch. The whole school talked about how the head cheerleader lost her man. It is something I have never gotten over, but I will now, knowing how much humiliation I am going to pay you back.” Rebecca said.
“Just do it Farin.” I cried out. I bent over and spread my cheeks and her shaking hand guided the wet, lubricated plug at my asshole and she started pushing and twisting.
I grabbed the toilet seat and watched my tears plop into the water. Farin had the tip up my ass and it was already causing me pain. I winced as she pushed and twisted, trying not to verbally compound her discomfort in doing this to me. I knew she canlı casino was being as gentle as possible, but it still hurt.
My ass felt like it was burning, the constant pressure, the twisting, it kept getting wider and wider. I couldn’t stop the sound now. I grunted and squealed in pain. Still, she kept driving that evil thing up my ass.
“No more.” I grunted. My ass felt like it was about to rip.
I heard Farin sob. “Just a little more, I promise.” She whispered.
She pushed again and my asshole burned so bad I was sure it would rip wide open. “Almost.” Farin whimpered. And with a final twist, my ass closed around the smaller part of the plug and it was trapped inside me.
She kissed my ass softly and lowered my skirt and got up. I stayed there, teardrops splashing in the toilet water. It was surely less traumatic than the wide part of the plug, but it was still so foreign. This terrible discomfort from having my ass stretched and being unable to close it was painful and humiliating.
“Meet Farin in the bathroom every break. She will take it out for second and fourth period and put it back in for third period.” Rebecca stated. “Run to the bathroom by the cafeteria before lunch. We will fit you up in the stall while the other girls arrive. Any questions?”
I stood up and cringed from the movement of the plug as I did. I refused to look at her, just grabbed my bag and walked to the stall door. I opened it and Farin joined me at the sinks to wash our faces. Rebecca let out a light laugh and left us there.
“What is this all about Farin?” I whispered through a last sob or two.
She turned to me and forced a smile. “I… I tried to stop her Carrie. I swear I did, I begged her, I got on my knees and begged her not to do it.” She was crying again and it scared me.
“They are going to …” She started and trailed off, turning away and crying again.
I placed my hand on her shoulder and she pulled away. I gasped and was very hurt. She turned to face me and wiped her eyes. “They are going to fuck you Carrie, in your ass and your mouth.” She blurted out. “I’m not supposed to tell you. It is supposed to be a ‘surprise’.” She said the word surprise like it was poison on her lips.
I looked at her with my eyes wide open in horror at this revelation. They were going to fuck me? Who was going to fuck me? Then it dawned on me. The cheerleaders were going to fuck me. “I’m done.” I whimpered. “I won’t do it Farin. I will just hide during lunch.”
She stared at me. She looked at me as if that concept, that thought were completely out of the realm of reality. “She will hurt you bad Carrie.” Farin sobbed. “You don’t know her as well as you think you do.”
I stared at her. She wanted me to go through with this. My girlfriend wanted me to stick around and get fucked by the entire squad. “She doesn’t own me Farin.” I mumbled.
Our eyes were locked, almost in a staring contest. The bell rang and we were now late for class. I turned away and headed for the door. Farin stayed there and I heard her crying again. I left without turning back and made my way through the empty halls to home room.
I stopped at my locker, exchanged a few books and headed into the classroom. Looking up the aisle, I saw Julie in her seat. She met my eyes for a second and then turned away harshly. I sighed and trudged my way to my seat next to her.
I looked at her the whole time, waiting for her to smile or acknowledge me in some way, but she didn’t. Finally, after what seemed to take an extraordinarily long time, I made my way to my seat, unloaded my bag to the floor and sat down.
“Detention Miss Fitch.” Miss Galler stated. It wasn’t unexpected and I didn’t even acknowledge it.
I stared at Julie, watching her staring intently away from me. My best friend despised me. If she only knew how horrible it was, all the horrid things I had done over the past week, she would just hate me more. As guilty as I felt for turning lesbian, I couldn’t believe my best friend would condemn me like this.
I looked over to my other friends, friends I had pretty much abandoned in the past week. It wasn’t by choice of course, but out of necessity. Sara, Cat, Gina and Jen were looking at the front of the class, but then Gina caught me looking at her and she looked back and met my gaze. If Julie had told them about my ‘disease’, I saw no recognition of it in Gina’s face.
She smiled, though insincerely, and mouthed the words, “we need to talk.”
I smiled back and nodded my head affirmatively. We did need to talk, it had been far too long. I turned back to the front of the class and paid attention. I glanced over at Julie every once in awhile, but she pointedly looked up to the front of the classroom and avoided me.
The class seemed to last forever. I felt quite lost without Julie’s friendship and now, a few minutes into the class, the plug in my ass was beginning to become unbearable. It wasn’t so much the burning sensation, the stretching that kaçak casino had been so painful at the beginning as it was a dull throbbing that became more torturous by the minute.
I shuffled in my seat, trying to alleviate the discomfort, but only managed to cause more pain as it pushed into me deeper. I successfully hid any grunts that might have accompanied the movement of the plug, and winced now and again as the pain grazed my ass again and again.
About a half hour into class, I had enough of Julie’s intentional avoidance and wrote angrily onto a sheet of paper.
You are my best friend. I know this hurts you, but I am still your friend. I wish you would talk to me. It was very hard for me to admit to you and it hurts
I stopped writing and crumpled up the page and it fell off my desk and rolled on the floor. Julie saw it and reached down for it. I went for it at the same time, but she saw my hand and snatched it away. “Julie, no.” I whispered.
She turned and glared at me and I started sobbing and turned away. She flattened the page and I heard her scribbling with her pen very fast. I looked at her again and she looked furious at the piece of paper as she wrote. Finally, she crumpled it up and tossed it at my face. I grabbed it before it hit me. She scowled at me and turned away.
I opened the page and read what she wrote.
‘I was your best friend. A best friend doesn’t keep secrets. A best friend doesn’t lie. A best friend doesn’t turn gay all of a sudden. You make me sick. If you want to be my friend, quit cheerleaders and leave me alone. I hate you. I wish I had never met you.”
I read the words and cried freely. The tears burned as they dripped down my cheeks and splashed onto the crumpled piece of paper. Miss Galler looked up at me from her desk, she then glanced to Julie and I saw her frown through my blurred eyes. I placed my hands in my face and cried, sobbing and shaking.
“Miss Fitch, you may go to the nurse.” She stated. I grabbed my bag and ran out the door and started bawling as the door closed behind me. I ran to the bathroom and washed my face, but I couldn’t stop crying. She hated me now, my best friend hated me.
My eyes were red, puffy and swollen. I looked an absolute mess. I went into a stall and sat and blew my nose with toilet paper. Why did I have to be a lesbian? What a horrible thing it was. I …
I felt inside the pocket of my backpack and found something. Had I really been searching for it? Why was my hand in this pocket? Why was I now holding a piece of glass in my hand?
I saw the words on my wrists… LESBIAN and SLUT. I was both. Darla had made me this way. Maybe not a lesbian, I suppose Farin had done that. Besides, I loved Farin. Didn’t I? The glass touched my wrist at the L.
Would it change everything? Could I just scratch that out? Remove the Lesbian from my wrist? Remove it from my being? And the word SLUT. Could I carve it from my wrist? Would it make me just plain Carrie again?
I had pushed a bit too hard and the skin broke. My blood, crimson, was dripping from my skin. I hadn’t hit a vessel, it was just a light break of skin. Just one sweet drop of my blood at a time dripped to the bathroom floor. I watched it plop, the blood splattering on the white tile. It was almost beautiful, the red splatter.
I felt pain, and it grew and I realized I still held the glass to my wrist. I could end it. I could end this pain. I knew I could. Oh, how they would love to find me there. Dead in the bathroom, tattoos on my body telling the world what I truly had become. Then, I saw the tears flooding my mother’s eyes, finding her daughter was not only dead, but worse, a lesbian.
I stopped. I pulled the glass away and put it back in the bag. I grasped some toilet paper and held it to the slight cut in my wrist. I walked over to the sink and ran cold water over it. I grasped some paper towels and wet them and held it firm to stop the slight flow of blood.
No, I would not be defeated. Not this way. At least, not until these horrible tattoos had worn away. I wept, looking at my horrible face in the mirror. Such a vile thing I was. So… horrible.
The bell rang and I tried to clear my face up, but it was hopeless. The more I dried my eyes, the more I cried new tears. I had Farin, why couldn’t she be enough?
As if in answer to my question, the bathroom door opened and Farin saw me there, holding a bloody wad of paper towels over my wrist and she screamed. “Carrie!” She ran to me and I looked up at her puzzled. “What the fuck are you doing?!”
She grabbed me by the wrist, pulled the towel away and looked at the small cut. “Did you do this?” She held my wrist up and looked at my face and I turned away. Farin would have none of it though and she grabbed my chin and yanked it to force my face to hers. “Did you do this Carrie?”
I couldn’t pull away, so I looked to the ground. “It…” I couldn’t finish. Nor could I have, in a million years, expected the slap that tore across my face.
“You selfish bitch!” Farin screamed at me, grabbing my face again and pulling it towards hers. “Look at me Carrie!” She yelled. I didn’t want to, but I did.
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