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Fifteen months. It’s late February 1999, and that’s the lifespan so far of this current period of fidelity, a period of being only with my wife. Yeah I know, that’s the way it’s supposed to be so I freely admit to you that I’m a fool and an asshole, that I play around behind the back of the woman I claim to love. And that’s just it; I do love her, deeply.
But you see I was born with a defect. Oh not a physical defect, but an emotional one. I just can’t be faithful, be with just one person “forsaking all others” as the vow goes. I know that’s shallow and selfish, so I guess that’s what I am too.
I crave being involved with other people, yes in a sexual sense, no less then the crack addict craves the next hit on the pipe. Crave that next different experience, the way they smell, taste, feel, the way they like to have sex, the way they like to kiss. What I crave most are the differences.
Fifteen months. It’s not the longest time I’ve behaved. That would have been when we were first married and I’d remained absolutely faithful for four years and a bit. And there’ve been many other periods in between affairs when I’ve kept my dick in my pants for my wife alone, the longest of those periods was maybe seven months but most were a lot less.
And although I’m well aware my wife doesn’t agree with this belief and acknowledge there are a lot of other people, both male and female who don’t as well; I can separate sex from love. And yes, even if it were my wife having the affairs, I could understand.
And now in 2005, thirty years into our marriage I have no reason to believe she’s ever been unfaithful, but would understand if she had been.
Besides I’ve tried since before we were married to get her involved with swinging and she’ll have no part of it. Tried all through our marriage, the last time as recently as a few months ago and the answers always been the same…”not interested, you’re enough for me.”
Fifteen months. Fifteen months ago, near the end of 1997, I ended a five and a half year affair with a woman I still have deep feelings for. In all the years I’ve played around, all the affairs I’ve had Candy was the only woman I’ve loved as deeply as my wife. And while I never would have left my wife for her, that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about her or missed her every day of the past fifteen months either.
Now having said that, if my wife had discovered the affair and left me and I was sure there was no chance of a reconciliation, which I would have worked diligently for, I would have gone to her in a heartbeat. Still would, if she’d have me.
I’d never been involved in an affair of this duration before. Most of them lasted a few months, maybe weeks but not years, not until this one. But this affair had reached a point where a decision had to be made.
One day out of the blue my lover asked me to leave my wife and marry her. She didn’t nag me about it and just asked the one time. In fact when I’d explained that I wouldn’t, that I couldn’t leave my wife and asked if she wanted to break it off Candy had said something along the lines of “even if I can’t have you with me all the time I still want you in my life. I don’t want to give you up.”
But after this conversation my lover fell into a depression and I grew increasingly more concerned about it. Even though she adamantly denied it and claimed it wasn’t, I knew it was over the status of our relationship. But I stayed and tried to help her recover, to pull her out of it to no avail. So for her health and sanity and with the concurrence of her two closest friends I decided to break it off.
So affected by the end of this affair, because of my continuing feelings for this woman, I suffered a spell of depression as well, but nothing like she had experienced.
So for the past fifteen months I’ve remained faithful to my wife. Why? As a penance? Maybe. I guess an argument could be made for that being the reason. But I prefer to think it was time for me to try to keep my wife as my only lover, as it should be.
Fifteen months. During this time my wife and I enjoyed as we’ve always done, in spite of my infidelity, a robust, healthy and satisfying sex life. We made love just as often, perhaps even a bit more frequently than usual, both experiencing a sexual and emotional satisfaction of the type you can only experience with a long time lover.
Fifteen months. Fifteen months of behaving myself. Fifteen months and I was getting antsy, antsy for something different. I knew it was only a matter of time.
I’d been invited to play in a local charity event golf tournament. We teed off in the fourth set of four and were on the fourth hole when the beverage cart came around.
There were two nice looking young ladies on board; both were brunettes in their mid to late twenties wearing white golf shorts and shirts with horizontal blue and white stripes. They drove one of three carts that orbited the eighteen holes selling beer, water and sports drink off the cart.
I bought a bottle of water from ataşehir escort bayan one of the brunettes and she struck up a short conversation with me.
“Wow, water, no one ever buys water” she said to me with a huge smile then went on “they usually but beer or one of the sports drinks. In fact the concessionaire wants us to carry three cases of beer and only six bottles of water and six bottles of sports drink in our carts because that’s what sells.”
A leaned over and looked into the cooler and saw it was chock-a-block full of beer.
Looking back up at her I said “drinking beer, walking and swinging a club in this hot sun would have me…well let’s say it wouldn’t agree with me very much.”
She giggled girlishly, flirting. But was she flirting like they do with all the golfers or with me specifically?
Reading the name on her name tag I said “now Mica, if you’d like to sit with me under a tree or at the 9th hole and have a few beers I’d be all for that” I said smiling. The 9th hole was a concession stand located between the ninth holes green and the tenth’s tee box.
With a big smile she said “I’m working now and I couldn’t do that, I’d get into real trouble. Now you wouldn’t want that to happen, would you?” Her brown eyes batted at me as she asked that question.
I replied in a teasingly officious manner “No I guess not, it would weigh heavily on my conscience if you were to get into trouble because of me. Well it’s my loss and will always regret it. Thanks for the water” and left to get back to the game figuring she flirted with all the golfers in this manner.
As they drove in an orbit around the course I didn’t see her again until we were sitting at one of the tables at the 9th hole and she and her companion had come in to restock their cart.
“Still drinking water I see” she said.
“Yeah, I just can’t bring myself to drink anything other then water since you turned me down so brutally.”
“Oh stop” she said giggling.
Just then our number came up to tee off at the tenth.
“Seems like I always have to leave you and play this silly game.”
Mica gave me a big smile and as she turned back to her cart I thought I heard her say under her breath “too bad” but I guess it could have been “thank God” too.
We crossed paths again on the fourteenth hole where I bought another water and she asked “how you doing?”
“Your turning me down inspired me, leaving me to work out my frustrations on the links. I’m doing pretty well because of it; I’m at three under right now.
She held my eyes for a second before responding “that’s good, keep it up.”
I asked myself was she talking about keeping up the good game I was having or the flirting with her I was still doing.
We finished the tournament, our group third out of fifteen groups of four; my personal score was two under so I was happy with that.
As a friend and I walked up to the clubhouse Mica and her cart partner drove up. Mica jumped out of the cart, her breasts bouncing as she did and asked how I’d done.
“Pretty good” I said and gave her our score and how I’d finished.
“That’s great. Here’s a bottle on me to celebrate” she said as she passed me a bottle of water.
She turned and hopped back onto her cart and waved as they drove off and I thought to myself “yeah I’d like to pour this water on you, over that blouse.”
I twisted the top of the bottle off and as I brought it up to drink realized in my palm there was a slip of folded paper taped to the side of the bottle. Pulling it off and unfolding it I saw it had a phone number written on it, nothing else, just a phone number, hers presumably.
“Damn” I thought “maybe she was flirting after all.”
Carl, one of our foursome, a member of this country club and a friend of mine since high school said as he read the slip of paper upside down “be careful, I hear she’s kind of wild.”
“Wilder then Candy?” I asked looking at him over my sunglasses.
Defending her he said “Candy wasn’t wild, she was…adventurous. But that girl” he said pointing off in the direction they’d driven “I hear has very unorthodox ideas and I also hear she’s very oral, to the extreme.”
“So what’s the problem?” I asked smiling.
Shaking his head he smiled too and said “just be careful is all I’m saying.”
I headed home after the awards ceremony following the tournament, showered and went into my home office and piddled around with some work for a while.
When my wife came home from her day out with her friends she went in and showered as I sat on the toilet seat and we talked about our day. She told me about the show at the art museum she and three of her girlfriends had gone to and said she had a print she’d purchased she wanted me to see later. Told me about the place they’d gone to for lunch after the show and how terrible the service had been and wouldn’t be going back there again anytime soon. And she talked about her afternoon of shopping at the escort kadıköy mall. When she asked I told her about the tournament and how we’d finished and she congratulated me.
When she came out I picked up a towel, wrapped it around her and dried her off. Then as she sat in the chair in front of the vanity mirror I used the hair drier and brush to dry her hair. Once it was mostly dry she took the brush from me and finished up her hair, getting it as she liked it. As she coiffed herself I sat back on the toilet seat and we talked about whether we’d be going out for dinner or not. She said she had something already in mind she wanted to make and that I could just go back to the den and watch TV or go to my office and she’d call me when it was ready.
Getting up I leaned over, kissed her on the neck and told her “I love you.”
“Love you too baby” she replied looking at my reflection in the mirror.
Going back to my office I waited until six o’clock to call the number on the paper. Like I said I have a defect. After just telling my wife I loved her, and I meant it, I’m calling another woman.
After three rings I heard “Hello.”
“Hi, I’m calling to thank you for the delicious vintage bottle of celebratory water you gave me.”
Laughing she said “you’re most welcome.”
“Do you always give strange men gifts such as that?”
“Depends on how strange they are.”
“So I take it I projected the right amount of peculiarity?”
“Just enough to make the cut” she replied laughing.
“Oh so I was at the bottom end of your weirdness scale? Is that good or bad?”
“Let’s say it leaves room for improvement. You’ll need to decide which way it needs to go.”
I liked this girl, she was playful and vivacious.
“Well then I believe the only way to figure this out is to get together and compare notes. Don’t you agree?”
There was quiet on the other end for maybe five or six seconds then she said “You know Drago’s?”
“Uh-huh. Six o’clock tomorrow night?”
“Sounds good. See you at six then.”
“Great, looking forward to it! Bye…oh wait. What’s your name?”
Softly, sounding like the promise of much more to come she said “see you at six tomorrow, Bill.”
I arrived straight from the office and was seated maybe two minutes before Mica arrived. She breezed in wearing a yellow and light green flower pattern cotton summer dress and white heels, her sunglasses pushed back on top of her head.
I rose as she came over and walked right up to me, placed her hand on my arm and kissed me on the mouth. It was just a quick kiss, but it was a mild surprise she’d kissed me like that already. Then rather then taking the seat across from me as I’d expected her to do so we could look at each other as we talked she took the seat to my right.
“I hope you weren’t waiting long?”
“No, in fact I just got here.”
The waitress came over gave us each a menu and left when we told her we’d need a few minutes.
We scanned the menu for several minutes discussing this and that dish then settled on sharing a dozen raw oysters as an appetizer; Mica had the grilled redfish for her entrée and I had the crab cakes for mine. We also decided to share a bottle of pinot grigio with our meal.
After we’d placed our order Mica sat back and said “I’m glad you called yesterday.”
“I’m glad you gave me your number.”
“I liked the way you flirted with me, all subtle like. Most guys got this in your face kind of banter that just annoys the shit out of me.”
“Well I wasn’t the only one flirting.”
Mica just smiled.
“But I bet you flirt like that with everybody.”
“Sure I do, when I’m trying to make sales. Daddy likes us to flirt with the men on the golf course, its harmless fun and we sell a lot of beer that way.”
“Yeah my father is on the Board of Trustees of the country club and is the VP of Operations. In his real job he’s a Vice President of one of the big Brokerage firms in town, he just does the bit at the country club because it adds to his prestige.”
From her tone I picked up on something and said “Uh oh. Sounds like you and daddy don’t see eye to eye.”
Mica didn’t say anything for several moments and her face clouded over for a second, and then she shrugged and said “he’s a dick.”
“Yet you work there.”
In a mocking tone she said “yeah but only because daddy wants me to because he thinks I’ll meet a nice young man there and settle down. He just don’t get I’m not interested in settling down.” She was quiet for a second then went on “don’t get me wrong I really do like working at the club doing things like that, helping out now and then, and I do like the people I meet there, but I have a job at one of the local affiliates as a producer and I love it but Daddy thinks it’s beneath me.”
Apparently mimicking her father she said in a pompous tone “young ladies of my bostancı escort background don’t do such work.” Shaking her head she said “what a pompous ass.”
“You’re of age, I hope, and can do whatever you want in this life.”
Mica smiled at the “of age, I hope” comment and said “my grandfather left me a trust fund, not a big one but enough so I wouldn’t have to work if I was careful. But I’ve never touched it. I want to work, make it on my own.”
“Well for what its worth I think that’s commendable.”
The waitress brought the wine at this time and opened the bottle and poured for us after we’d gone through the acceptance and tasting ritual.
“Your oysters will be right up” she said just before she left.
“I’ve never seen you around the club before yesterday. You a member?” she asked.
Shaking my head I said “no, I was invited to play in the tournament. But I have played the course several times before. I have a friend who’s a member.”
“Oh I know Mr. Carl. I like him and his wife too, they’re always so nice to everybody and they’re always doing something with their kids and all too. You’ve known him long?”
Nodding I said “since high school. But we didn’t run in the same crowd back then.”
“Let me guess, he was a nerd and you were the jock?”
“Half right. He was a nerd alright, right down to the pocket protector and black framed glasses, but I ran with the “outlaw” kids. Rode a bike, wore an old bomber jacket, the whole bit. He lived a few doors down from my family and I liked him so I kind of protected Carl from the other kids who always picked on him.”
Leaning forward placing her elbows on the table and her chin on her upturned palms she asked “Oooo a bad boy, what kind of bike did you have?”
“A ’59 Harley FL pan head, all chrome with blue tank and fenders and springers.”
“Still have it?”
“Unfortunately, no, I was in need of some quick cash once and sold it about twenty-five years ago. But like they say hind sight is twenty-twenty and I really wish I hadn’t.”
Our oysters arrived and the waitress topped off our wine glasses before leaving.
Mica picked up an oyster shell and slipped the delicious little bivalve into her mouth. After she’d savored the delicacy she said “mmmm, they’re good and salty, just right.”
We continued to talk as we finished our oysters and our entrees and as we had our coffee and dessert I said to her “Mica, I’ve really enjoyed your company this evening, it’s been fun, and you’re very pleasant company. But I have to be honest with you before we go any further; I need to let you know I’m married.”
As I’d said this Mica had picked up and sipped from her coffee cup then set it down and said “I know.”
“You know?” I asked surprised.
Nodding she said “I got your name from a friend of mine on the tournament committee and asked around about you. I knew everyone else in your foursome so it was easy to figure out.”
“But you asked me my name on the phone last night.”
“Uh huh. I wanted to see if you were going to be honest and tell me your real name or give me a fake one. I almost forgot to ask you too.”
“And my being a bit older then you doesn’t bother you either?”
“I’m twenty-nine, what are you, forty or so?”
“I like older guys. Guys my age or younger are all immature assholes. They grope, pinch, pull and prod and when they start that shit I usually kick their ass out or go home myself, I’m not going to be handled like that, unless I ask for it like that I mean. And the ones that don’t do all that stuff can’t handle me at all.” Leaning forward with her forearms resting crossed on the table in front of her she whispered conspiratorially “they don’t really get into the kind of s-e-x I prefer.” Sitting back again she went on “at first they think it’s great but they tire of it pretty quickly.”
“Oh? And what kind of s-e-x do you prefer?”
She sat nibbling at her cheesecake a moment and then said “well we’ll have to see if you’re going to find out, don’t we?”
We sat looking into each others eyes for the longest time saying nothing but communicating like crazy. Finally she said “how about we get a room?”
“Is that what you want, so soon?”
“Hmm” she said nodding.
I signaled the waitress for our check and when I’d paid we walked out together and I said “let’s leave your car here and I’ll bring you back later. Ok?”
Nodding she put her arm through mine as we walked to my SUV.
As we drove we passed through the seedier part of town and Mica said “how about one of these places?”
I looked over at her and asked “you know what kind of places these are?”
“Sure. They’re where the street girls work out of.”
“That’s right, where they rent by the hour. You sure this is the kind of place you want to go?”
“Yeah, I think it’d be kind of nasty going to a place like that. Make me think I’m dirty too, like those street whores.”
That comment made me think a second about what kind of baggage this girl may have been carrying.
For the first time she turned her head from the side window and looked at me and said “unless you think we shouldn’t.”
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