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As if I have nothing better to do, I am interrupting my vitally important writing about the 2018 elections (not under this name, idiot) to relate a dreary little male chauvinist story that my friend, Raymond, told me last night at Pete’s Lay-Up, a bar in town.
Raymond is about 10 years older than I, divorced, rich, and well-hung. I threw in that last bit because this is Literotica. But he is well hung. I had sex with him once, as a Christmas present, and a week later he gave me a $5,000 watch as a gift. When I took his dick in my mouth, my jaw actually made a funny “click” sound. I thought I had dislocated it.
It was our only time; he knows the rules and is resigned to buying me expensive Chardonnay a couple times a week at Pete’s and gazing at my plunging neckline with its pale, beautiful, but not especially bulging bosom. Also, telling me stories that with most other women would get his chest hair ripped off for being a MC Pig. Don’t get me started, but men and women have inherently different, and to some extent complementary, sex psychologies. I know that. But don’t get me started.
How many women would do the equivalent of sitting every week watching the cleaning girl and mentally undressed her and wishing, “Oh, if I dared! What might she do? Tell my wife? Tell the agency?”
Well, I suppose hard-up older women might watch the pool cleaning guy that way, or the kid mowing the lawn. But Raymond is not hard up. Do you know any women who would like to meet a handsome, courtly—okay, dirty minded—divorced lawyer in his fifties who is rich, has a mansion in East Hampton, and loves to travel? As a matter of fact, you do. We all do.
So, glancing down at the ever-so-subtle contours of my décolletage and pouring the chardonnay, Raymond sighs: “Guess what?”
The tip of your pecker is caught in your zipper and you want me to come to the men’s room to help you? I didn’t say that.
“I finally hit on Francesca.” He nodded, watching my expression. “I did. I hit on her. And guess what?”
“She said, ‘I don speak de English so mash’ and giggled, the way she does when you try to tell her not to get Windex on everything in the fridge?”
He lifted his eyes reverently. “She is SO hot-and that smile! I love hot days when she comes with her ass packed into those tight shorts and wearing a halter. I know she knows I’m watching when she bends over to dust. Her boobs are just spilling like fruit from a cornucopia. Then, she peeks over at me and giggles! I KNOW she wants it!”
I glanced, as they say, “meaningfully” down at my chest. I am lanky. I have long, pretty legs, a bony but pretty face framed with short pixie hair, and very big smoldering brown eyes. I don’t have boobs; I have titties.
“I’m not even BEGINNING to compare her with you, Ellen. YOU are Diana! I always imagine you in the forest, nude, with a drawn bow. The string almost touches your left nipple.”
Dear God, can we get on with this story? Is there any sex? “How did you hit on her? Sign language?”
“No! Computer translation! On my laptop!”
“I did. It just came to me. She can read! Spanish, I mean.”
“You seduced her in translation?”
“I was watching her. You know, as usual. Sitting in my chair with my laptop. This time, before she bent over, I noticed she reached back and hiked up her halter. I saw her boobs jounced up and squeezed together. Great grapes of Bacchus! So, I typed…just a sec, I recorded it all on my phone, too. Here: ‘Cuando él se inclina, ¡tus pechos me llenan de alegría!'”
I leaned forward and stared at it. Was this tacky, or what? Oops. Don’t judge.
I frowned and said, slowly, “Something like ‘When you bend, your chest…something with joy’?”
“Yes! ‘When you bend over, your breasts fill me with joy!””
“You said that?”
“Typed it, yes. English to Spanish. And I waved her to come over. She looked a little alarmed, actually, but she came. When I gestured at the screen, she read it. For a minute, she frowned, and I thought, ‘Oh, shit!’ Then, she burst out laughing. Guess what? She reached up as natural as could be and hefted her boobs, still laughing! What a woman!”
“What did she say?”
“How do I know, a lot of Spanish. Much too quick, for me. Anyway, I don’t know much Spanish even though I know I keep saying I will study it-for her…”
“You didn’t get any of it?”
“Well, I did hear ‘dinero’ canlı bahis and ‘mi trabajo'”
“I nodded. ‘Money’ and ‘my job.’ Makes sense. Needs the money, needs the job. Raymond, this is beginning to sound like a newspaper story from a #MeToo gal.”
“Oh, Christ! Do you have to?”
“Sorry. Then, what did you do?”
“I typed…Here, look…” The phone, again. “Sueño con verte desnudo cuando desempolvas los muebles.”
Raymond leaned closer to me. He said, in a whisper, “It says, ‘I dream of seeing you naked when you dust off the furniture’.”
“She read it! I think she blushed! Really blushed. But you can’t tell…”
“When did you cut to the chase?”
“You mean…? Oh, right. She seemed to be ready to back away and get back to work, so I typed: “Quiero ayudarte con dinero.”
I nodded. So great to be a woman. I said, “Yeah, I imagine she got the point.”
“Did she ever! You know what?”
She smashed your computer screen with her duster, then tried to shove its handle down your throat? I did not say that.
“She looked right in my eyes, gave me the biggest smile—smirking, really, and reached behind her.”
“This really happened?”
“Yup. Never stopped grinning. Her halter came down, right off.” He shook his head, slowly. “Awesome, Ellen! Her tits were beautiful! They were sculptures! So firm that her nipples pointed up! And they were…oh, I’d say…the color of burnt sienna. Very crinkled. There were beads of sweat between her breasts.”
Big tits ARE nice. So happy for you, Raymond. I actually said, irrelevantly,
“Francesca is her name? Trying to get a human face, here. Not a hot taco from South of the Border.”
“Francesca, yes. I just sat there, staring and smiling. We both were grinning like dogs on a hot day.”
“That’s called ‘panting.'”
“Panting, then. At least, I was. So, when I did nothing, she shrugged a little and snapped open the button of her shorts, shoved them down with her fingers—her panties along with them. Red panties. They dropped straight to her ankles. What a pussy! Absolutely shining black; it looked oiled. Growing up her belly, fringes on her legs… Spreading like dewy grass on rolling hills.”
“That’s nice, Raymond. Did you type that into the translation program? Like grass…”
Raymond gazed at me, for a moment. “No,” he said, reproachfully. “I did not. Are you making fun of this, Ellen?”
Who, me? No! This deserves to be a Verde opera, La Vagina de Francesca. SO romantic! I only said: “You took her to bed?”
“I didn’t get up from the chair. I reached for her and she stepped a little closer. I cupped my hands over those boobs. I could feel her stiff nipples against my palms and she pressed them into me. I started rubbing in circle and she closed her eyes.”
“Right. Then, I took each of her nipples between my fingers and pulled her toward me?”
“Men everywhere.” I was busy with my chardonnay. I didn’t have to say anymore.
“She gave me a big smile and leaned back! Yes!” He came closer to whisper to me. “Very slowly, she drew back, so her nipples stretched. She was watching them. I pinched harder to hold on. It was like a game of chicken.”
I had thought that chicken was when my nipples were clipped to my girlfriend’s and we were pulling to see who would give up and squeak first. Not that I ever did, but I might. I am very tough.
“I just got crazy, Ellen. Suddenly, I jerked hard. Francesca gave a gasp and fell forward toward me. She was reaching up to cover her titties. She ended up on her knees in front of my chair, gently massaging her nips.”
“On her knees! Convenient!”
“Yes, but she is not a pushover.”
If you say so.
“She reached up, grabbed my belt, opened it. She yanked down my shorts. I mean, this babe is strong! She got hold of my cuffs and almost dragged me off the chair. She threw them aside as though she were preparing to beat me up. I could see her beginning to breathe hard. Breasts rising, lips parted. God, what a beautiful full face, just blooming, Ellen!”
“Did you have a woody?”
“I had an oak tree trunk! I always had thought that before I seduced her, I would take a Viagra. No time! Didn’t need it. My underpants were like a tent with a steel center pole. She smiled when she saw that. I love the way she looked right into my eyes as she was dragging bahis siteleri off my shorts. My dick popped out and slapped back against my belly. God, I was hard!”
I glanced around the bar. Nope, no audience.
“Am I losing you, Ellen? I know this is…”
“No, I want to know what she did to your dick. What was her opening game?”
“Well, remember how I pulled her tits?”
“Big smile, takes a fistful of my balls and starts pulling. Like pulling me up. I just smiled back, at first. Suddenly, she snaps, ‘Levantate, cerdo!'”
“Pig? She called you, pig?”
“But as she says it, she really leans into her pulling! I mean, she’s tearing off my balls! I’m trying to get up! But my body is curling over to protect my nuts. I’m yelling, ‘stop, Francesca!’ And SHE is laughing!”
Yay, for the underdog!
“And quick-like, as though she had done all this before, she takes her other hand and slaps my balls. Like a teacher smacking your palm with a ruler. Or like teachers used to, anyway. Ellen, I felt the pain all the way down my legs and up into my back! I was panicking, now.”
“I think a lot of Mexican men are scared of their wives,” I said. Actually, I know zilch about it. “I think their wives beat them with brooms.”
“Well, I shot up to my feet and sort of stumbled against her. We put our arms around each other. My god, those big breasts pressing against me! And I felt my prick against her soft belly.”
“Did she still have a handful of your jewels?”
“No, thank God. She was gazing into my face, very close. Her eyes were dark pools, flashing. All I wanted to do was kiss her. I started kissing her like mad, crushing her lips, bending her back. I wanted to ravish her!”
You know, I was getting a little hot by now, with this saga. I like kissing, too. Most women do. But you get real kissing only on the first date or two. Women like to kiss each other. Some women.
“She pulled away for a second. She was gasping for air. She said, ‘Too hard.’ She meant my kissing, of course. I mashed my lips right back on hers and suddenly…ouch! Her hand was down there, again. This time she was rolling my marbles in her fist, rolling them against each other as hard as she could squeeze. That’s a killer!”
“This babe has executive potential.”
“Yeah. Then she whispers—I remember it: ‘mas amable.'”
“Means ‘gentle.’ I looked it up I got the message. Even after she stopped grinding my stuff, my nuts ached. Surprised I still had a hard-on, but, boy, did I.”
Right then, I could have used a nice shove or two myself.
“Okay, so now she’s in charge, you see? I get the message. And she’s up to it, for sure. She glances out through the sliding glass doors to the pool area. Totally private, there; so bright it hurts your eyes, but there’s a chaise in the shade. No language barrier, anymore, Ellen. She takes my dick, like a handle, and pulls me after her. I feel it hot in her hand. Out through the doors, around the pool… I know that we’re alone, but I’m glancing around. I mean, she’s hauling me like a wagon. I’m hustling after her looking down at her hips, these monumental brown ass cheeks rolling with each step.”
“You did it in the shade?” I had to say something.
“Yeah, but first we stopped, facing each other. Everything about her was curves. Her breasts like a cliff, tight brown belly, perfect round thighs with this glistening black patch growing wild between them, long legs…She grabs a bottle of tanning oil off a table and hands it to me. By the time I’m finished, she’s glistening. I’ve slicked each boob and her nipples are shining. While I was lubing her snatch, I slipped two fingers up into her cunt. Her smile never changed. I tried the same thing with two fingers up her asshole. Then three. Smiled! She just gave me her body like a gift. Anything I wanted.”
“How long is this house cleaning, by the way? Does someone come to pick her up? Does she have another appointment?”
“Well, just three hours. But I started early. All this took only a half hour, you know. That’s the way first fucks are, Ellen.”
Tell me. Rush, rush. Fuck fuck. Next activity.
“Oh, I could have kept her and fucked her all day.”
Yeah, and that 25-pound salmon was just about in the net, when it slipped off the hook. Well, that’s the way men feel, anyway. bahis şirketleri Like they could fuck forever. Until they do.
“She took the plastic bottle of oil, then, shook some into her palm, and began on my dick. Yikes! I thought I was going to come in her hand. She smirked. She gave my dick a very hard squeeze with her fist, which helped a lot. To finish up, she gave me a quick, stiff backhand slap to my nuts. I’m half bent over, whining, but she gives one long glance, smiles, and crawls on all four onto the chaise, with her ass facing me. Looks over her shoulder. Lowers her forehead to the chaise so the cheeks of her ass part even more.”
“You saw it.”
“I saw it. Nothing demure about it, Ellen. Very dark, thick lips… Really heavy-duty pussy. Framed in jet-black hair. This senorita had a grown-up cunt. I could see that by now her clit was swollen like a little tube. It had a pulse in it. She was so excited that the cowl was hauled back. Her hands came back and opened herself for me even wider and the pink head of her clit poked out. I crawled onto the chaise and first thing I did was knock that springy clit back and forth with my tongue.”
By now, I was a little dazed. Jeez, Raymond! Graphic! Do I have to know about the head of this poor girl’s fat clit? You know, though, that I get off on describing these things. Writer, after all! And Raymond knows it, too. He was perfectly aware I was going to write this, just like I wrote about his adventures at the New Aloha Spa.
“I kept chasing her clit with my tongue, around and around, no matter how she wiggled her hips and tried to pull away. I grabbed two handfuls of hips and held her for a good stiff diddling. The thing seemed to keep swelling. Finally, she gave a violent wrench of her butt and yelled, “No!”
“You feel as though you’re going to burst like a balloon with a hose stuck in it.”
“But you want to, right? Burst?”
“Too intense. You want to throw yourself on your side and clap your thighs together tight.”
“Well, she didn’t, I can tell you that. I came forward on my knees and forced down my stiff dick to almost horizontal. Ah, that’s the moment! You nose it in and then shove. It slides all the way in and your belly bangs her ass. Francesca did give a shriek when I shot into her cunt. I was delirious, Ellen, just banging my belly against her ass over and over, faster and faster. She gave one final, pleading cry. I had to ask her, later, what she said. Here…”
The phone, again. Just like a lawyer. Everything you scream when I ream you will be recorded and may be used against you. “Mamá, apuñalame hasta la muerte.”
“‘Muerte’ is ‘death,’ I said.”
“Yes,” said Raymond, gravely. “‘Mother! Stab me to death.'”
He said: “She was wagging her ass like mad. My prick was getting whipped around in there until I thought I was going to speak in tongues. I just came and came, slapping into her big ass again and again, just delirious with coming”
I sighed, “Nice to get a real fuck once in awhile.” I reached for the chardonnay. Bottle was empty.”
“Oh… I’ll get the waiter.”
“Just a glass, Raymond. Getting late.”
He was silent for a moment. “You know, Ellen, I’m not sure why I tell you these things…”
I looked up at him. “You aren’t sure?”
“I sort of know, I guess, yeah.”
“You paid her? A tip for cleaning?”
“Ellen! I watched her pulling on her clothes and suddenly realized I had no cash! I mean, less than a hundred bucks!”
I winced. “Ouch! Not too convincing to tell her ‘next time.'”
“No! I panicked! Guess what I did?”
“Went to the laptop and typed something? I can’t imagine what, though. Did you kiss her, again?”
“Nope. Took her hand and led her to the den. Took a 10-pack of American Eagle one-ounce gold coins out the drawer. Held them up so she could see.”
“She know what they’re worth?” I mean, current market one of those babies goes for about $1,200, give or take.”
“I think she did. I gave her two.”
Shit, I ought to get into this business. “And she seemed okay?”
“She gave me the biggest grin I ever saw,” he said. “She stuck them right down into her bra. Then, very slowly, she went down on her knees and took out my pecker. Very gently this time. A long gaze up at me, from these incredible eyes under dark eyebrows. Then, she takes it in her mouth.”
“No problem doing it again?”
“I could have been 20 years old. It was the longest, sweetest suck. I closed my eyes and when I came in her mouth I just sighed. Gave her another gold coin, actually. I mean, who cares?
“Then, I kissed her goodbye.”
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